the cottage child

The influence of Saints

2012-01-09T05:43:00.004-06:00

Yesterday we celebrated the Epiphany, that second Christmas. It seemed like a logical day to pray for the guidance of a new patron, and then spin the wheel at the Saint's Name Generator and see who my teacher for the year might be.

But I changed my mind. I'm hoping St. Mary of Egypt won't mind me clinging on to her for another year. I am haunted by her in some ways, probably because I really only bothered with a cursory knowledge of her. I was sort of stunted by my fascination with her, so it seems a shame to leave off when I've only just begun to appreciate her fully.

St. Mary of Egypt, Pray for Us!

Veni, veni....

2011-11-27T08:13:00.000-06:00

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

trans. John M. Neale, arr. Thomas Helmore

Menu Planning and the $100/day challenge

2011-11-07T08:02:00.006-06:00

LONG POST ALERT - you have been warned....

It's amazing what a difference something as simple as planning a weeks worth of menus around sales and the occasional coupon can make in grocery savings and in general household organization. There are a million sites that offer coupon information, sale matching, etc, most are free, others charge a nominal administration/access fees. There are a few links at the bottom, and I really don't have much to add, so I'll let the more experienced and dedicated folks take it from here as far as that goes.

As for organization, I think it's often overlooked as a co-equal benefit of this exercise. I would go so far as to add that even if one forgoes coupons, taking the time to plan the weeks meals saves money by way of efficiency and even accountability.

Here's our Top 5 of why it's important for us:

1) we only have so many dollars to spend on food and groceries, and Home Economics 101 is maximizing resources. It is necessary in order for our budget to balance and to have nutritionally sound food in the house for health and well-being. Value is paramount, quantity without quality is no substitute.

2) it's my job. Or one of them. Our household agreement is that I am the kitchen and pantry manager. I'm in charge of keeping us fed. With that in mind, planning menus keeps shopping and meal prep efficient and a part of the daily routine, rather than a wild goose chase from when the first kid asks "what's for dinner?" to the grocery store to hoping the meat will thaw in time to having canned green beans AGAIN because you forgot to buy the fresh ones on sale, or forgot you had them and they've gone compost in your vegetable bin, along with a lemon leftover from Easter brunch and those baby eggplant from last month's farmer's market you just had to have.
It avoids waste of both food and time.

3) it preserves orderliness (and an underrated emotional commodity known as sanity). I'm an adequate parent, but I'm not a great "Mommy". It annoys me when people use my good scissors to cut paper, and I become irrational when I am repeatedly asked the same question. As I mentioned above "what's for dinner?" will come up, and if I don't have an answer, it will come up at least twice per child and probably again from my husband. "I don't know." never satisfies, as they then move on to "when will you know what's for dinner?" . Look, plan the menu, post it on the fridge, remind them once and perfect your maternal glare for the occasional forgetful infraction. It's just easier.

4) putting it in writing is a good exercise in commitment as well as a friendly reminder to yourself. No, it's not life or death, and if you never write it down the sun will still rise and set. It's simply a matter of human nature - you've written it down, meaning you're more likely to remember what you've got and that you need to use it, and you've posted it for others to see and either agree to or edit (husband only, at this point).

5) it helps to avoid budget busting by planning according to the family calendar - practices, meetings, and other outings can all be occasions to dive off the fast food wagon into a sea of regret and heartbreak. I'm exaggerating, of course, but nothing is more frustrating than setting out with good intentions, only to be thwarted by something entirely avoidable. It's easy to spend several days worth of groceries on a single trip through a drive-thru anymore, so it's not a stretch to say that failing to plan is planning to fail where meals are concerned.

So, there you have it. My inclination is to buy what I like and cook as I please, and guess what, I do that. Because I've planned within our means, often I can afford to be spontaneous if a treat is warranted or there is a special on a family favorite that I hadn't anticipated. It is not restrictive - in fact, it's quite freeing. Good, right?

As for how it ties into the $100/day Challenge, it's a matter of a little discipline and simple savings.

- Plan menus, for all three meals, on a weekly basis, extended out to include leftovers, duplicate meals, and matching sales with coupons. anticipated savings: $600/yr
- eliminate most alcoholic beverages (limit to special occasions rather than at table). anticipated savings: $1200/yr*
- don't buy ice (we don't have an ice maker and I've been lazy about ice trays, plus I love machine ice). anticipated savings: $100/yr
- eliminate monthly fast food outing anticipated savings: $200/yr

* thoughts on alcohol: People, we like our booze around here, but not to the tune of $1200/year. Seriously, I was floored by this figure - two or three bottles of wine a week, plus a bottle a month of rum or vodka and mixer for cocktails is what we routinely buy, and we're not talking top shelf, and BAM - $100/mo. I'm not suggesting anyone should tea total, but it might be worth considering how much value there is in liquid entertainment. YMMV. For now, we're adding a couple of favorites to our Christmas lists, and drinking iced tea.

Total food and grocery savings: $2100/yr.

Not bad. That's 21 days of our challenge to add to the 27.5 already tallied, for a grand total of $4850 annual savings. It's amazing how fast little efforts add up.

My favorite sites for grocery savings and couponing information and forums:

Saving Naturally
Hip2Save
Totally Target
A Full Cup
Grocery Game

Our dinner menu this week:

Monday - grilled steak and shrimp, creamed spinach, steak fries
Tuesday - coconut chicken tenders, coleslaw
Wednesday - sausage, broccoli with cheese sauce, tomato salad
Thursday - roast turkey, rice with mirepoix, green beans with mushrooms and bacon
Friday - tostadas with refried beans, cheese, avocado, shredded lettuce and pico de gallo
Saturday - turkey and sausage gumbo stew over rice, green salad

(Friends at TC will post their menus today, too - come see, and join in. )

Bon appetit!

7 Things I've changed my mind about kinda recently

2011-11-04T05:32:00.005-05:00

Seriously, I can't get off the themes for Seven Quick Takes, it's like a tick or something. I don't think in themes, actually, the process is generally all very random, I just can't seem to not have a group of ideas that need expressing about one Friday every other month so here we are! You gotta love 7QT, and gracious hostess Jennifer at Conversion Diary, so join in, random thoughts, themes, recipes, whatever.

So, things I've rethought and changed my mind about:

1) Glenn Beck - he's too angst-y and hysterical for me now. I've got that covered on my own, thankyouverymuch. I've only every listened occasionally, but back when his show had some comedic merit, when he talked about things other than Obama, gold, and assorted boogey men, I would get tickled - he even had a decent interview with an entertainer now and then. Now it's just a string of freak outs, and like I said, I'm totally covered on that one. Buh-bye, GB, I do wish you well.

2) brown rice - a long time ago on this blog I posted my fail-proof method of preparing brown rice, and extolled it's virtues above those of it's inferior polished cousin. While I still stand by the method, I now prefer white rice. Not only do I like it better (on the rare occasions I eat it - brown or white, it's too starchy for me), it's easier to prepare, it's a highly digestible and sound starch, very inexpensive (though it's going up and up, like everything), and suitable for storing long term. *like*. Brown rice has become something of a symbol of a time in my life when I both made things harder than they had to be in order to impress people who did not care, and a kind of mistaken concept of Holy Eating. Weird, I know.

3) freshly ground black pepper - this is about laziness, and the fact that I couldn't find whole peppercorns in bulk in my entire town, and I wasn't going to pay something like $95/lb for the little glass jars with what, maybe a months worth in them? So, add cheapness to laziness. I ordered the wrong thing from Amazon, thinking it was peppercorns when it was actually already ground, and we LOVE it. It's fresh tasting, nice big (if a little too uniform) flakes that are the right amount of spicy, what's not to love? When you use black pepper like we do, this is tremendously important. I still love fresh, I'm just not the snob I thought I was.

4) women should cut their long hair when they turn 40 - who thought this up? How about this: if you want to cut your hair, cut it, if you don't, then don't. This "rule" was planted in my brain by my own mother, who was an employment counselor for years and I think very dedicated to the idea that a polished appearance was essential to the conventional workplace, and I think she was probably right. However, being a non-conventional workplace (my garage and my kitchen table) employee, I like my pony-tail, and I like the styling versatility that wouldn't be available if I cut my hair short, and (gasp!) my husband prefers it long, too. I've noticed lots of very attractive women, some older than me, who have hair that flatters their faces and looks terrific - it's a superficial thing, I guess, but it's a good reminder to avoid the hazards of adopting what amounts to the simple preferences as some sort of law.

5) I will die without bread - clearly, I haven't. And I don't even crave it, really. This is big news for me, as I could just as easily make a meal of a restaurant bread basket as order off the menu, followed by another bread basket for dessert.

6) flat screen tv's - yes, I'm that person. I thought the whole thing was a scam, really. I vowed that I would not get caught in the trap of buying electronics just because they were made available, and I've managed to avoid iEverthings and texting and talking refrigerators, etc...we had a perfectly nice, functional tube television that served us just fine, until last Christmas. My family is slightly embarrassed, I think, by my lack of style where these sorts of things are concerned, and so gifted us a flat screen. I am totally sold. We kept the old tube model for a couple of weeks, thinking we'd set it up in the guest room or our room, but it seemed to be such a beast compared to the flat, and i just didn't want to sacrifice the eight square feet it took up for one more minute. We don't watch enough t.v. to warrant having two, anyway, so out it went. I am converted.

7) college for everyone - don't misunderstand me, I think everyone should be educated, but not everyone needs to do it in an institutional setting over the course of four or fourteen years to the tune of six figures. My idolization of higher education (in the conventional sense) has been challenged, recently. I see a lot of opportunity cost and low return on investment for people who might be better served with a more creative approach to professional training and workforce alignment, oh, and little things like gifts and talents. False barriers to entry and credentialism are costing us valuable brain power - ironically, a lot of it in the area of education. Surely we can think of a better more viable system than the one we're currently feeding - it is an impossible hunger to satisfy.

Now aren't you glad you asked? Happy weekend, beloved!

No. 1: Live in every inch of your house, right now.

2011-11-02T10:13:00.010-05:00

You know your kids are going to mess this up, right?

Here's what I mean - the difference between a house, be it high or humble, and a home are the people who live in it. Honoring that fact should be what informs any decoration. If you have things that are so precious that it makes you anxious to have your small children within ten feet of them, you might have discovered a delicious opportunity to teach your children value - what is important, how to care for something fragile, and how to live within the soft boundaries of a given season of life.

Relationship, respect, reality.

High expectations are not unrealistic ones - they respect relationships.

One of our favorite things is the artistic creativity our children express - they are forever writing, drawing, painting, building. It is amazing that this sort of focused play is so relaxing, for all of us, and also drives the ability to concentrate - play begets good work product, as it turns out. Because we appreciate that so deeply as part of their developing character, and because they live in this home, and influence every inch of it, we've decided to display their artwork in a gallery of sorts - our hallway. There's just one small catch - our hallway currently looks like this:

and this:

Oh, my, when will the magic hallway painting fairy return, considering she's been MIA for like three weeks? Check back later, I'm going to try and reach her on her cell, and share with her my high, but realistic, expectations....

Tall Order.

2011-11-01T10:50:00.005-05:00

(graphic via Vintage Moth)

One of the first declarations of intent I made when I was fleshing out my big transformational idea (see post from earlier today) was a financial commitment, a fairly large one considering I'm starting from scratch, toward a project that is important to my family. The details of the project will become apparent in the not too distant future, there will be posts about it, I'm certain, but the ways and means aspect is what I'm focusing on for now.

Welcome to The $100/day Challenge.

Yep, you heard it here, I've put it in writing: By reducing expenses and increasing income, I'm committing to making $36,000 available for our family project. That seems ridiculous, except that I've already taken the chainsaw to some expenses, the scalpel to others, and guess what? There is much excess and waste in a home that thinks of itself as frugal. There are also lots of distractions and frivolous endeavors that are eating up time that would be better spent on income generating efforts. It's a 360 day project, it's not a lifetime, but it will change things considerably for the better, for a long time to come. A good return on investment.

(sidenote: I am intentionally avoiding using the word sacrifice where this project is concerned. While some things will be scaled back, edited, or even done without, there is nothing sacrificial, in the real sense, about what we're doing, and I take particular issue with conflating suffering with canceling cable. /judge-y rant)

So, a few disclaimers: you do not want to take your financial advice from me. You do not want to be like me. You do not want to find yourself trying to "catch up" on life at 44 years old and wondering what the hell happened to 28. Also, there are some expenses that we're whittling away at that will make you wonder things like "are you crazy, who pays for that?", and "I don't spend money on XYZ, so that doesn't apply", etc, etc. You're right, you're not me, and I'm not you. But in the little circle of friends who still communicate with me through this ether-portal, I'm not only intending to share our experience, but to learn from others. This exercise is intended to solicit input, not merely dispense advice. I am asking for your help.

So, all that rambling off my chest, here's my first several days worth of savings:

#1: Consider home schooling rather than private school.

I know, I know, glaringly obvious, but if significant financial gain is of immediate concern, and you're investing in your children's education by way of tuition, it can be a quick and fruitful way to draw down an ongoing expense. It was for us - we decided this earlier this year, as clearly regular school would have already started by now. I'll be honest - my kids weren't too happy about it, we'd started the enrollment process and after a couple of years of home school my girls were excited to try something new. My son, who attended the school last year, was particularly perturbed. But you know what, they got over it, and we're doing fine with school at home. It's one year, a school year for that matter, which is really only 180 days. It is more academically rigorous than even the private school we were considering, and we get to do some other things, besides, not being attached to a schedule (more to come as this pertains to Project 360 - as I said in the initial post, this is a lot of loose threads coming together).

I'm a committed home school advocate, and cannot see myself returning my children to public school except under the most dire of circumstances, so admittedly we're talking perspective, here. There are also families, obviously, for whom school at home cannot or will not be, period. This is not intended to be divisive, only a suggestion for exploring options, considering alternatives, in light of the big picture.

I based our savings on what we spent on my son's tuition and school related expenses from last school year, less our home school expenses (materials only, I don't make them wear uniforms), and here's how it played out:

Tuition, fees, and uniforms: $3950.00
books and materials for home school: - 1200.00
savings realized 2750.00

So, in one not so simple but worthwhile decision, we've saved nearly a months worth of $100/day. It is probably more than that in reality, as it's not likely I'll spend $1200 on school related expenses, and I only included fixed expenses in the tuition and fees - there are also fundraisers, teacher gifts, field trips, etc, that boost the actual expense of school considerably. Additionally, the home school outlay is for three children, not just one.

And that's our start, and a big push of momentum out of the gate is helpful for motivational purposes. Our take away on this one? Everything is negotiable if you're willing to use your imagination.

tally, day one $2750.00. I'll take it.

Project 360 - a complete revolution

2011-10-31T23:20:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling sorry for myself lately. Like, in a dumb way, because I have nothing to complain about,really. I was talking to my husband about this dumbness,and how it's discouraging that on the eve of the holidays, which I love, and with so many good things going on I just am not feelin' it. And that's not like me - I'm usually feelin' Christmas in July, pining for the shorter days and deep sleep and special food, all in anticipation of a new year. A fresh start.

My husband is a good man, and he doesn't entertain pity parties as a rule, but he was listening carefully during this protracted whine and he offered me some really good guidance - he suggested that I stop waiting for a new year, for some magical day to find my footing. With so many things to do, procrastinating, or trying to assign something meaningful to what is essentially a random date on the calendar only serves to stall, or even reverse, any momentum that might come from the awakening we all experience from time to time. The time to act is now, in the moment. That it is all we have.

In the interest of immediacy, I' m starting a 360 day project. 360 days because the things I need to do are multitude, and this ain't no 2010 day rehab. But still,time line is in order, and it lot of little things becoming a whole - a year seems fair to accomplish it. 360 days makes sense, because it's year, less a few holidays -Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, and my birthday (no my birthday is not actually a holiday, but for my purposes I'm declaring it one).

My list is long, I'm not posting it yet, but in the interest of commitment it seems fitting to start this project today, The Feast of All Saints, and my husbands and my 14th wedding anniversary. In celebration of the best decision I ever made, I thought a few more might be in order, and the symbol for this undertaking is none other than a Ferris wheel. I initially thought a sundial would be suitable, but it didn't do a rotation all it's own, it's passive, in the shadow of the sun. A Ferris wheel, though, goes all the way around, way up high, where you can see a far piece, and you have to make the deliberate decision to ride it even though you might throw up. Get on it, and then employ someone to operate it for you - as in ask for help, relying on others. Yikes. More throwing up. What am I doing, that sounds crazy?

Aren't you glad you asked? Maybe not - but you probably can't look away. Hopefully, none of us will regret this.

Peace, yo.

Read the whole thing.

2011-09-27T05:32:00.006-05:00

Our school year has gotten off the ground, finally, but it's not everything I hoped it would be. This is the first year I've written out a real schedule, with lesson plans and deadlines, and while I know it's necessary in some ways, it seems stilted in others, like a betrayal of the whole point of the thing.

I guess the Big Picture is finally coming clear, oh, here now that I've been a mother for 11 years - it's not about me, or my idea of a schedule, or even very much about the curriculum beyond "did you get that, honey, they might ask about that in college?". It's really just about them, their ability to make relationships, follow threads, draw conclusions. They are becoming very adept at all those things.

So, we fall back on the principle of the methodology: read the whole thing, the complete work, examine the entire piece, know why it's important at the beginning, middle, and end.
The Mona Lisa's expression is intriguing - she appears as if she'd reply if you spoke to her. You do not know this, though, by only examining her mouth. The entirety of the great work is what makes the subject so engaging, so memorable.

And so it goes with our school books - plodding through some, racing through others, backtracking and retracing steps even when that's not how you're supposed to do it. We're rebels like that.

So that, in a nutshell, is our lesson plan for higher learning: read the whole thing.

Thoughts? Arguments? Know we're fixing to crash and burn? I'd love to hear about it!

Are you really gonna eat that, part 3 (I think), and links!

2011-09-12T04:52:00.007-05:00

Short and sweet, this week, because we're blessedly busy! This is the first year I've had all three kids doing different academic levels, so it's a bit more challenging to establish the pattern (meaning, taking my 6 year old outside because all of his reading is aloud and the girls insist they need total silence in order to be able to give Bilbo Baggins their full attention). Add to that a job I've taken with a (gasp!) holiday deadline - there's a lesson in never say never - and it's kind of crazy around here.

Back to my out of order fisk of my own post involving the transition and fine tuning of committing to purely whole food diet, this one is a tough one:

"you know that conventionally raised industrialized farm cow/lamb/chicken/pig was not treated as it should/could have been, right? (this is a favorite of kids - they say this, out loud, it's not just running through their heads)"

This can be something of a difficult question, and I would say the only thing to do is be as educated as possible, and decide incrementally on how far you're willing to go, increasing the level of commitment commensurate with your financial means and the other concerns of your family.

Some ideas that help form our decisions go like this:

- while it is an investment in our health, it falls behind stewardship which is second to
gratitude (yes, I said that). This isn't an exercise in self worship.

- feeding our children is non-negotiable (they get very crabby when they're hungry)

- intermittent fasting for adults is a legitimate consideration (again, research - it's a
spiritual matter also, which make it worth investigating if that's of interest)

- good/better/best applies, as does acceptable/unacceptable - know your scale

- it is not necessary to have endless variety in order to have good health or a satiating diet - we tend to buy the same cuts of meat over and over, and simply find new means to prepare them. This saves money and ensures we're buying what won't go to waste or even be a disappointment.

- study the methods of Dr. Temple Grandin, and take some comfort that her systems are
employed by nearly every processor in the country, for humane treatment, quality, and
efficiency

- prioritize based on knowledge of the product - for instance, we intentionally buy fatty cuts of
meat and marrow bones - these I buy grass-fed, due to the fact that much of what is
objectionable in conventionally raised animals is stored in the fatty tissues. The more fat,
the more junk. Additionally, the fattier cuts are often some of the less expensive, and
therefore become more affordable on the pastured side (for example, chuck roast,
ground beef, stew meat, whole chickens, ham). You are more likely to see me in
the conventional case when purchasing round steak or boneless skinless chicken (which is
rare anymore). Organic/pastured eggs are important to us because of the sheer quantity
we consume, and they are one of the foods in which the flavor and satiety are
noticeably superior to conventional.

- you don't need as much food as you've probably been inclined to eat if you've been existing
on the SAD of grains and sugars. This, combined with eliminating said SAD and choosing to
intermittently fast frees up a few more precious dollars to dedicate to an all around
more beneficial diet by way of savings.

I realize that was something of a meander around the topic of humane treatment of animals with regard to our consumption of them, but I do consider all of these things when planning menus and creating a grocery budget. It is not worth obsessing over, but it is worth careful attention - it comes back to the threefold ideal I began with - gratitude, stewardship, health - for our family, in that order, it's a schedule that can be applied to almost everything.

My friend Terry at Breathing Grace wrote here about her experience and how she modified her menu for her family's preferences while still maintaining a healthy approach (which is the point, yes?).

There are informative affordability posts at Paleo Parents and at Robb Wolf.

Here's a great challenge that starts today, and if you don't know Mark's Daily Apple, it's a good place to start if you have questions about the reasoning behind the paleo/primal/ancestral eating philosophy. Even if the diet isn't for you, it would be a great way to begin a 30 challenge to eliminate processed non-foods from your diet, and to get solid information on how different folks utilize the approach for all around improved well being.

MENU PLAN FAIL

I haven't made one - we're winging it this week, which often proves dangerous. We're covered for a few days, though, still sorting through frozen leftovers and stuff on hand in the pantry. I will say I'm a little relieved to see stuff being eaten and getting my wonderful glass storage containers back in circulation.

We'll regroup for later in the week, and if I can remember I'll post our plan then.

Happy Monday!

Salt and Light: Them

2011-09-10T20:21:00.006-05:00

Greater love than this no man hath,
that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

Amen.

(more Sunday, 9/11, at Traditional Christianity)

Seven Ways to Avoid the Heat

2011-09-02T00:02:00.003-05:00

I can't seem to help but have a theme for the QT's, and the heat is a major issue nation-wide, apparently. Dang it's hot. I'm out of patience with my own whining about it, so here's how I propose to make the best of it. For your own list of whatever it is you'd like to visit about, join the lovely Jen Fulwiler at Conversion Diary! It's good exercise!

1) stay inside, and stay very still. Encourage your children to embrace Legos and American Girl paper dolls as high cultural experiences.

2) go outside, turn on the sprinkler, let it sprinkle your parched lawn, parched children, and parched dog.

3) do not open the door to your house between the hours of 7 am and 6:50 am the following day. You have a ten minute window to grab the previous days mail, get anything out of the car you need, let the dog out, and get the garbage can to the curb. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to bring it in, of course, but your neighbors won't mind, they're hiding inside, too.

4) convince anyone who cares that swimming in a chlorinated pool and rinsing off in the poolside shower is the equivalent of bathing your children. Any build up steam in the house - be it boiling water or showering - is somehow counter-intuitive. The children will go along with this.

5) stay at the public library for an hour or three. They have the most delicious air-conditioning, and midday, when you and your home schooled children have the place almost entirely to yourselves because most other children are in regular school, it's as if you've added a wing onto your home. Clear tables, books floor to ceiling, clear tables, a computer station, clear tables....the stuff magazine dreams are made of. And did I mention clear tables?

6)wonder if watching the wasp that is trapped between the window and the screen counts as nature study, because you'd be crazy to actually go out onto the surface of the sun for a walk.

7)pull your lazy self together and hit the beach - summer will be gone before we know it, and along about January, we'll wonder why we didn't go every weekend.

Happy Labor Day Weekend, all!
Pray hard!

Are you really gonna eat that?

2011-08-15T04:32:00.009-05:00

FOOD FOR THOUGHT A Monday Series

One of the results, for better or worse, of paying more attention to what goes in our mouths is the little devil-on-my-shoulder script that runs through my head.

For example:

1) you know that's got (pick your poison) soy/nitrites/grains/carbs in it, right?

2) you know that conventionally raised industrialized farm cow/lamb/chicken/pig was not treated as it should/could have been, right? (this is a favorite of kids - they say this, out loud, it's not just running through their heads)

3) you know conventional is far cheaper, you're being self indulgent while people are starving, right?

4) you know if you can't do this pure foods thing perfectly, there's no point at all, right?

5) you know you spend more time worrying about your gut than your soul, right?

Since this is a multi part series, I figure it 's best to start with the last, since it's the most important from my point of view.

You know you spend more time worrying about your gut
than your soul, right?

I've always loved food and cooking, I even love grocery shopping. It is not difficult to understand how food can become something of a religion. Food is important on many of the same levels as a faithfully practiced religion, in fact - history, community, tradition. It can be unhealthy for some of the same reasons - false piety, corruption, lack of substance.

I'm not just talking about being late to Mass because you were clipping coupons, or making your grocery list during Bible study, but those are bad enough to warrant correction, probably.

I read a comment on another blog, a long time ago, from a marriage minded Christian young man who was lamenting that he had a difficult time with what amounts to the new Crunchy Christianity. He knew many lovely young women who professed a Christian faith who could recount very little about Jesus or the history of the Church but who could recite any number of ultimate health recipes or reasons to avoid or include certain foods, all about organic gardening, and the name of the dolly grip on the movie Food, Inc (not really, I'm only paraphrasing with a large amount of license). I'm borrowing this example not to proselytize, but to suggest that it is very easy to substitute what amounts to a personal preference for right priorities. Certainly this is not limited to a fixation on food (nor to Christians) but it's one that can appear innocuous, easy to excuse because it's a "best interest" matter - not unlike exercise, or even missionary pursuits - but it will remain incomplete, and ultimately deleterious, if it remains so disordered.

As a Christian person, a right spirit is more important than a pristine menu. Beating other people up for their dietary choices, ignoring the tastes and sensitivities of guests in our homes, or when we're guests in their homes, excusing distraction from the people in our lives as "research", or using "health food" as an excuse to overspend on the budget, no matter how healthful or beneficial....it's disregard for others, plain and simple. In the Christian life, in fact, that amounts to disregarding Christ himself.

Is it good to pursue the most healthful diet within our means for our families? Yes.

Is it reasonable that dogmatically pursuing it results in discord in our homes? No. Never. Christian or otherwise. I can think of nothing less conducive to good health, spiritual or physical.

Next week, Part 2, probably out of order again.

UPDATE: One thing I never got around to saying on this matter - plain and simple, for myself, time spent is evidence of the level of commitment. If I am spending more time being a foodie than I am in Mass, prayer, and study, I'm getting it backwards. I cannot perfect what I do not dedicate time to. YMMV.

ON THE MENU, Week of August 15

This is our menu outline for the week. Our newish eating pattern is based on the paleo concept, modified for our reality and individual tastes. I hope to include a cost analysis, both shopping total and approximate price per serving, going forward. I ran out of time, and didn't have a good baseline to begin with as we have so many of the items already on hand. I do believe that it is possible to eat a protein rich/limited grain whole foods diet on a reasonable budget. I certainly do not have unlimited resources, but have come to realize that maximizing nutritional quality rather than simple quantity saves money by reducing the amount of food required to feel satisfied, and by reducing so many of the ill-effects of the SAD.

This week is a little dull, as I look over it, heavy on chicken, long on salad greens, but it's still crazy-hot here, our soft start of school is this week and we also have a lot of errands and household business to take care of. Ease and economy of time is a must. Also, weeks my husband is included in the menu would likely not contain fish, and I imagine a few saltine crackers would be in the mix in the snack department along with a can or two of Progresso soup. Some habits will not die, including childhood attachments to the taste of a tin can. Over all though, a modified paleo eating pattern works well for most men, and he's not me. The point is healthy happy people, eating according to a standard that also benefits others as far as that can go, not a culinary dictatorship.

Monday
br: eggs, bacon, blueberries
lu: sauteed chicken tenders over lettuce, tomato, and avocado salad
di: baked cod w/pecan meal crust, modified sauce Divan, broccoli

Tuesday
br: kids - soaked oats oatmeal w/apples and raisin, mom - 1/2 avocado w/salsa and bacon
lu: green salad w/fried eggs
di: chicken skewers with zucchini, yellow squash, mushrooms, and onions

Wednesday
br: eggs, bacon, apples
lu: kids - pb&j, carrots, whole milk, mom - bone broth
di: hamburger patties topped w/cheese, cole slaw

Thursday
br: omelettes w/leftovers and cheese
lu: chicken salad lettuce wraps
di: sausage, mashed cauliflower w/garlic and cheese, green salad

Friday
br: breakfast quiche
lu: sliced cold roast beef, cottage cheese, cucumbers, tomato (aka homemade lunchable)
di: chicken and broccoli one dish/stir fry, kids w/small amount of white rice

Saturday
br: eggs, bacon, fruit
lu: wild card - maybe lunch out or salad/sandwich
di: grilled ribeye w/caramelized onion, Caesar salad, French bread (Dad and kids)

Sunday
br: kids - soaked oat oatmeal w/apples and raisins, mom - fast
lu: whole roast chicken, twice baked cauliflower, green beans
di: snacks/leftovers/deviled eggs/bone broth

sn: carrots, almond butter, slice of cheese, banana, apple slices, raisins, stuffed jalapenos, dark chocolate chips

be: water, coffee, whole milk, herbal tea

co: salsa, pick-a-peppa, homemade salad dressing, kosher dills, Parmesan cheese, stevia

PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION

I love homemade salsas and pico de gallo - they're very easy to make, they give life to otherwise bland foods, brighten up leftovers, and substitute for salad dressing. In our area even some of the more obscure ingredients used in one variation or another are typically readily available, so there is a fun factor involved as well, if cooking is your thing.

However....

There are times when I just need something to be READY. While I've been disappointed with bottled/packaged salsas before, this one made me happy on all levels. It's not organic, but all of the ingredients are food - you know, things you've heard of and can pronounce.

According to their Facebook page, Fat Tomato Tomatillo Avocado Salsa is now available in all Texas Costco's - hopefully, there's some near you, too.

Happy Eating!

High of 749 F.

2011-08-09T09:50:00.004-05:00

That's what it feels like anyway.

Two short posts in one today - we're just in off the road from what seemed like a never ending visit. It was probably that way for our hosts, too, since we had originally only planned to stay a few days. Wouldn't you like to invite me to your house?

PART ONE

So, the Wellness Challenge continues at Wellness Mama. I'm participating, to an extent - I haven't adhered to my own diet outline perfectly, but I've done better than my eating free-for-all that seems to have gone on most of the summer. I think I might have lost a pound or two, nothing huge, but the interesting thing is I'm sleeping so much better. It's amazing what good food can help with.

Also on the food front, if you haven't seen it, Food, Inc. is airing tonight on PBS. It is worth watching for information and perspective, even if you don't agree with everything presented. I highly recommend it if the politics behind industrialized food and why we eat what we do are of interest.

Happy Eating!

PART TWO

I've designated Tuesdays for all things home-school and kid related. I got (almost) nothin'.

We have a soft start of the new term next Monday, mostly continuing math via Teaching Textbooks, and what promises to be a terrific music history course that's also on DVD. We're also familiarizing ourselves with a new library branch that will be our primary source for our "living" books this year. I would much rather buy them, but a) we're moving soon, and b) I'm not happy with the quality of books I've been buying - paperbacks that aren't inexpensive and aren't bound particularly well. My idea of accumulating classical works also included a vision of collecting beautiful books, so I'm reformulating my strategy and returning to my old habit of haunting the dollar carts at Half-Price Books, the shelves of thrift stores and library discard sales. At least those are designed to hold together, and I can cover them in brown paper and hand letter the spines with the titles - HA HA HA HA HA! I had you going there for a minute, didn't I?

We made a haul at the Target dollar bins for odds and ends that will come in handy. Measuring cups, math bingo, Name That President workbooks, that sort of thing. Our main influence is Charlotte Mason, but recognizing, establishing, and honoring relationships in all things being her focus and best advice, I chose sane well-intended Mommy with contented kids over mean purist Mommy and jittery kids. It's helpful, too, in making sure Daddy doesn't feel like he's the Mayor of Crazy Town, or making the kids go out onto the surface of the sun to play just so they can be in touch with nature. We'll get back to that, maybe in September!

Hey, if you're not chicken, visit tomorrow at Traditional Christianity - it's the day I usually have an article there (they'd appreciate it if I'd turn it in, probably), it's fun, and inclusive in a way I can't quite describe. Elevated discourse, quirky-smart players, dissenters invited and welcomed, as long as trolls are leashed. When I say "smart" - I'm the slow one in the herd, and they still entertain my input and don't leave me too far behind when I'm earnestly trying to keep up. It's fun, it's serious, go there, any day!

Real life.

2011-08-03T05:51:00.001-05:00

this lady is most definitely not me

I've given a lot of thought the last several weeks to what my family/work/faith/fun life would "look" like if I were a truly gifted writer, not so prone to emotional outbursts, but only quick witted and coherent. I'm not sure I'll ever be a brilliant writer, but I care less about that than I once did. I do care about writing honestly, though, and I've discovered that I cannot keep the things that are important to me conveniently compartmentalized and accomplish much of anything. I have been mulling over for months now how I would be able to manage multiple blogs (ha) with any sort of content integrity.

Guess what?

I can't.

I am a Christian, a new Catholic in fact, a wife, a mother, a believer in complementarian marriage, a designer of a sort, a neo-trad, a champion of good food, a home-schooler, a horse-person, a wanna-be agrarian and a wanna-be writer who feels like she's been asked by all the right people to all the right places. I cannot pull one thing out and set it aside, like a pick-up stick - the rest always, predictably, shifts and crashes down. It's all or nothing.

I have a confession: I've been embarrassed to reveal some of the attitudes I hold, concerned that I might appear uncool or unenlightened. I have determined two things: one, on closer examination, some of what I believe is very unpopular, but I am pretty tame compared to a lot of people, and two, that passion is not anything to be embarrassed about, as long as perspective is maintained and the intrinsic value of each person is recognized. I esteem creative people who do things with originality, who manage to operate within the boundaries of respecting others, but who defy destructiveness rather than just going along, and will not be shoe-horned into the mainstream if it means setting aside their core values. I want to be like that. At forty three years old, it would seem it is high time.

Here's a run down on what that will look like going forward:

1) This blog will wind down, and merge with my "real' blog as a heading for home schooling and other child-related topics

2) my business will be part of the new site, because it's part of who I am. I integrated my work life and my home life for very specific reasons. Our home is my work place. If you do not like monetized blogs you will not like this one.

3) I am lucky to have been included among the contributors to a favorite site of mine, Traditional Christianity, and once a week-ish I'll have an article there.

I'm attempting a schedule yet again, something along these lines:

SUNDAY: Salt and Light - reflections on faith and spirituality
MONDAY: food, recipes, menus, politics of food, homemaking topics
TUESDAY: The Cottage Child - children/school related
WEDNESDAY: article at Traditional Christianity
THURSDAY: Design related, projects, etc.
FRIDAY: Seven Quick Takes at Conversion Diary
SATURDAY: Wild card - favorite links? book review? politics? laundry report?

So, there it is. Agree or disagree with my unorthodox orthodoxy, I hope we can still be friends.

Salt and Light: August. UPDATED

2011-08-01T07:50:00.001-05:00

I cannot say what happened to June and July, because I blinked and they are gone. It seemed this way two years ago, when we learned my Mother was dying, those months accelerated to light speed and disappeared, gone in an uneasy hurry. Last year and this year were the same - I don't know if it's tied to that event or not, it's certainly within the realm of possibility that the oppressive heat coupled with my enduring laziness is to blame, but for whatever reason it's as if twelve months are really ten. We count all 365 days on the calendar yet live only 304. Weird, right?

August, though, holds more promise for being able to stop and pay attention, absorb, learn something even - visiting family and friends, considering the possibilities of the approaching school year, enjoying (?) the stress of opportunity, and negotiating financial strain and moving and approaching teenage years and the overwhelming promises of God.

August looks good.

UPDATE:

This was today's featured work at Writers Almanac - it resonates.

The bee is not afraid of me

by Emily Dickinson

The bee is not afraid of me,
I know the butterfly;
The pretty people in the woods
Receive me cordially.

The brooks laugh louder when I come,
The breezes madder play.
Wherefore, mine eyes, thy silver mists?
Wherefore, O summer's day?

"The bee is not afraid of me,..." by Emily Dickinson.

Salt and Light: WB Yeats

2011-06-12T08:02:00.001-05:00

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Seven Reasons to Freak Completely Out if You're Me

2011-06-10T05:50:00.005-05:00

Wow, long time no see, baby, where've you been?

Oh, I'm the one fell off the face of the Earth, you say?

Well, what better way to get caught up, the short version, than to participate in the always fun
Seven Quick Takes, thanks to the gracious Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary. Join in, link up, you know you want to!

1) I've been building a fort out of moving boxes, which is a good thing since we can't find a place to live in our new town. Well, of course there are places to live, but I am so over moving that we're determined to buy a house rather than rent, and nothing has turned up as of yet that says "forever". Onward....

2) So, my next fit of genius involves building a house, which will take what seems like 52 years. On the surface, it may appear to be a high-class problem to have, but really, it's some sort of sickness that I can't just pick a house plan, let the builder build it, and put my stuff in the finished product. I have to change SOMETHING on every plan I've looked at, including the plans I had drawn up to my specifications for a "dream" house. Every strike through and modification adds another four years to the build schedule and approximately a years salary to the price. What is the deal? I am officially on the verge of obsessing.

3) Since we were planning to move this month I didn't really get into gardening the way I had originally hoped. The growing season here is long, and our yard is suited to a couple of raised beds. I might brave the heat if it looks like we're going to be hanging out here into the fall and put a few things in. My tomato pots have been very rewarding, as have the herbs.

4) I bailed on VBS planning at our parish because, again, I thought we were moving. Now I feel so guilty! I should call today and find out if they still need my feeble assistance, and perhaps have room for my sweet children who think their mother is losing it. They might be a little right.

5) Note to self: do not send nekked photos of myself to people I'm not married to - check! Is that really so hard to remember?

6) Has anyone followed Mater Amabilis for home school? I'm curious to hear any experiences, successful modifications, recommendations you might be willing to share. Thanks in advance.

7) The nice thing about our shift in moving strategy is that my house is half-packed, reedited, and amazingly clean. God really works with me carefully - now that we're not running off half-cocked I will have some extra time to work on photo albums, swim with the kids, finish the string of books that I've left strewn around the bedside, visit a friend or two, and get some actual work done before our school year begins in September. Answers to prayers are things of Grace - "not that, but this instead" seems like a reasonable approach, when reason was trying really hard to leave the building. Amen. (and as a side note, I'm curious to see what I feel compelled to unpack, and what I can just do without?)

Happy Weekend, sweet friends!

Salt and Light: Garrison Keillor

2011-05-16T08:30:00.004-05:00

A Prairie Home Companion archive photo from the website

Okay, so it's not Sunday, but I'm packing, and I wanted to visit.

I love A Prairie Home Companion - it makes me nostalgic for things I know nothing of, like how I might like to live in the small town rural midwest rather than small town rural Texas. If I wasn't afraid of snow, I'd be there. APHC is funny and relaxing, a bit cerebral... kind of a nice way to unwind from Saturday, start thinking about Sunday.

My husband doesn't care for APHC's sort of cornball style, but the program has grown on him, even, - he actually "shushed" me once when the Guy Noir, Private Eye (I?) segment was on.

Golly, I thought you didn't like this show, it got on your nerves? - my apologies, darling.

I think that's the mark of a truly gifted entertainer - drawing even disinterested people into a story. Garrison Keillor does it very well.

Keillor had a stroke a couple of years ago, and lived to tell about it. He recounted his experience in a Men's Health article, from which this excerpt is taken:

"I was raised fundamentalist and from early childhood sat under hellfire preaching in which the prospect of imminent death was a main selling point. Preachers stood and perspired freely and told about the Titanic, the ship Morro Castle, the wreck of the Old 97 and its unbelieving engineer who was scalded to death by the steam, the unbelievers who left the revival meeting in scorn and moments later were ushered into Eternity by the North Coast Limited. At every funeral, a man in a dark suit stood by the corpse and cried out, "What if your life were required of you this very day? Where would you go?" I sat and trembled. And said a silent prayer, asking Jesus to save my shriveled soul, and the very next day went back to reading fiction, joking around, singing pop songs, flirting with girls--all my worldly ways. Conviction, Confession, Relapse, over and over and over, like a man jumping off the shed with the big wings strapped to his arms that he's sure will make him soar over the trees, and kersplat...down he goes one more time. But he picks himself up and straightens the wings and trudges home, and that evening decides the problem was the spacing of the feathers. The next morning he jumps off the roof again. Eventually you tire of this experiment, and then you go to the big city and see a 747 land at the airport. Wowser. You can throw away your feathered wings and simply buy a ticket. That happened to me. It's called divine grace."

Good, right?

The whole article is interesting, worth reading. And if you're a fan, of GK or good writing in general The Writers Almanac is a great daily dose of both.

Blessed week to you friends, and if you run into St. Someonelsepackus, please send him over.

two h/t's 1)blogger Pentimento is who first directed me to Writers Almanac, thanks for that, because I live in a cave and am the last to know of everything even marginally interesting....
and 2)the Keillor article was excerpted on another blog, the name of which I cannot recall and I cannot locate in my search log. It's not one I have ever visited before, but if that's you, thank you for making me aware of the article.

Wash me.

2011-05-13T20:00:00.001-05:00

Our washing machine died. I cursed it.

The lovely Kimba of A Soft Place to Land was super excited, and rightfully so, that she was chosen to do a review/produce a series of posts/write a lot about her new Electrolux HE Super Duper Stackable washer and dryer.

I might have bragged at her very cool site that I was still using my lo-tech top loader and loving it, and the magnificent workhorse would have to be pried from my cold dead hands before I would part with it. Plus, anticipating at least two more moves in the next five years, I did not want to queue up for an investment washing station only to have it suffer the brutish manhandling of men who would be moving it.

Flash forward to the next Monday. I was standing in the kitchen wondering what would be good for dinner (Honey Nut Cheerios is good, right?) and thought to myself

"wow, that helicopter is flying really close to the house.!?".

Rather than a helicopter, the noise was the washing machine grinding out it's last - that or it was considering "wheat thresher" as a possibility for a second career as it was trying to jump out my utility room window.

So, I'm considering all my options, all my broke and broke down washing machine options, that is/they are - should I splurge for front-load, or simply replace with a comparable regular ole dealy-bobber?

Your mission, if you choose to accept it: I would love to hear from folks who have used both types of washing machine, who can (or cannot) endorse front-load based on personal experience.

Holla.

oh, btw, Dorian Speed (superhero) broke hers, too - it's not just me!

Salt and Light: What is it you want?

2011-05-01T14:03:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite ~~self-destructive tendencies~~ pastimes is to make things harder than they need to be. This from Elisabeth Elliot, by way of Amy's Humble Musings (hi, Amy!), whose old posts (Amy's, that is) I've been somewhat obsessively rereading this weekend....

“I had been praying for something I wanted very badly. It seemed a good thing to have, a thing that would make life even more pleasant than it is, and would not in any way hinder my work. God did not give it to me. Why? I do not know all of his reasons, of course. The God who orchestrates the universe has a good many things to consider that have not occurred to me, and it is well that I leave them to Him. But one thing I do understand: He offers me holiness at the price of relinquishing my own will.”

When I consider how uncomplicated the Resurrection actually was - not the reasons leading up to it, we muddied those waters, not God - Simplicity reveals itself fully - roll the stone away, people, and leave it - do not pass go, do not collect thirty pieces of silver. It was the fundamental renewal of spirit, a simultaneous denial and exercise of physical strength - endurance - accomplished by a loving Saviour who very simply died, so that the rest of us might live whatever tangled lives we care to impose on ourselves (she rolls stone back on foot).

Christ has died.
Christ has risen.
Christ will come again.

I suppose I can read between the lines, adding my own edits and qualifications, as I make lists and inflict false deadlines and contrived agenda on my ~~family~~ self. It's not a riddle, though, to be manipulated and figured - it's a mystery, THE Mystery. I don't have to understand it fully, for it to be fully true. It really is just that simple.

Thank Heavens.

10 Ways

2011-04-26T12:58:00.002-05:00

10 WAYS YOU KNOW FOR CERTAIN
YOU'RE AT MY BLOG
EVEN WHEN I HAVEN'T WRITTEN
ANYTHING
IN LORD KNOWS HOW LONG

1

Everything is centered.

2

There's whining, there's Jesus,
there's whining about Jesus.

3

I'm fat, and there's no sign of stopping.

4

I'm fast approaching full on middle age, and there's no sign of stopping.

5

There's dog hair all over my house.

6

There's children all over my house.

7

I still haven't finished my new blog design.
sheesh.

8

I hurt myself doing something fairly routine.

9

My husband has accepted a new position.

and the clincher, just to be sure you're in the right place...

10

WE'RE MOVING!

Apparently, it's what we do.

I know, it's official - you wish you were me!

Meaningful collections.

2011-04-18T09:07:00.001-05:00

I have always been interested in the why, the back story, of people's collections. How they started - with a gift or a souvenir from a trip? Why do they keep them, and keep adding to them - is it a deeply loved symbol, and window into a life's love, or is it something inherited, or forced, or supposed to be valuable? Snow globes or coffee mugs, crystal or paper, movies or stamps, coins or santos....what comes to be in our lives, those things that we keep, can come to define us, for better or worse.

I know many people who have had collections started for them, as babies or small children, and as they grew older, they would receive additional pieces to add to the collection, until their shelves and dresser tops and windowsills were overrun with them. Sometimes they're cared for in love, other times out of habit or sentimentality or just consideration of the giver. Others started their own, and keep them heavily juried, frequently culling, adding a new piece only according to certain specific guidelines of quality or origin or mark of value. I esteem that kind of discipline. And still, I am somewhat envious of the in flagrante, the buy-every-one-you-like-and-let-God-sort-em-out kind of collectors, often (but certainly not always) in the home design and decor category - tole painted trays, leather bound books, quilts, paint by number.... en masse, these pieces unify to become one large work, a signature of their owners style and personality.

As for my own proclivities, they have almost always been home-oriented, but I find them taking a more sentimental and organic, even practical turn. Chandelier crystals have been laid aside in favor of sea shells and other natural structures, old family photographs have filled the frames that once held pencil sketches by unknown artists, vintage home keeping and classic gardening books have supplanted the glossy coffee-table worthy "cookbooks" of the culinary stars. As I noticed this transition, and finding myself in the position of having to "notify" friends who occasionally scout with me in mind that these gradual shifts were taking place, I began to wonder about my own collecting philosophy.

Why do I keep what I keep?

William Morris, the great artist, poet, and designer of the 19th century wrote a timeless gauge for what to include, and not, in a home:

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

Reflecting on how deeply meaningful this philosophy is, I find myself no longer seeing "useful" and "beautiful" as separate features, but rather one begetting the other. What of my blender and my electric pencil sharpener, even my computer screen? - none is a design element, but they are certainly useful, and provide the means to achieve beauty. I don't think Mr. Morris would have us throw them out, but only keep them if they facilitate beauty in our lives, and add texture or dimension by way of their utility.

Here's a list of what I currently collect - (yes, that many!) -

old Bibles and hymnals
Pendleton and beacon (and similar) blankets and bates bedspreads
religious artwork/symbols, particularly Catholic influenced - statuary, rosaries, vestments, etc.
vintage textiles of almost any natural fiber in neutral coloration
sturdy baskets and boxes (wood, metal, etc)
metal and wooden trunks in serviceable condition
canning jars, old and new
ironstone plates, bowls, pitchers
zinc flower frogs
old wooden picture frames
classic books of all kinds, new or old, in good usable condition - cooking, how-to, literature, history, etc.
mother of pearl buttons and buckles
Mccoy pottery, pearl white
Dryden pottery, deep sky blue
black transferware, brown transferware, and several groups of family plates and platters
old chairs
shells and coral, driftwood and antlers
old mirrors, loosing their silver, preferably
old typewriters in working condition, with ribbons replaced
old cameras in working condition, with film ready to go
boots, in a variety of sizes, for us and for the kids
our wedding china and crystal
enameled cast iron cookware

Over the next few weeks, I'll walk through the why behind the what, explore how I arrived at the what, and examine what we do with all this stuff. Examination is part of the fun of collecting, after all.

What do you collect, and why?

all photos: COUNTRY LIVING MAGAZINE

Salt and Light: Religious Ed.

2011-04-10T13:25:00.004-05:00

Just a quick note to acknowledge all those who welcome families into church life, the CCD and RCIA facilitators, and all who seek to help the seekers.

As for my own parish - thank you sweet friends - you know who you are!

Radical, 7 Ways

2011-04-08T00:07:00.000-05:00

I don't know where to start.

I know - let's start with the seven things I can
muster with the least amount of rambling.
I have so much on my mind it's crowded
Good crowded.
but still....

Thanks again to Jennifer of Conversion Diary
for hosting
Seven Quick Takes.

{1}

I finally watched Secretariat.
And I loved it.
I'm a horse person, so I'm usually hyper-critical
about horse movies, because often
they're not about horses at all.
This was a good movie about a great horse,
and how he became great by way of
(or in spite of)
average people.

I had heard some rumblings about how it was about
a self-serving Mom who ditched her kids for a horse,
but that's not the impression I was left with.

What I got was an average imperfect family showed Grace
to each other, it's imperfect members,
and did something terrific that they all played a part in.
The marriage had tension, there were a few regrets,
mostly there was room for Grace.

And besides, the lead character hardly ever wore pants
as I recall so she had to be at least a little holy.

{2}

We started planning Vacation Bible School this week.
Yay!
It's never not summer here, so I don't know how else you're
supposed to tell. VBS is my Almanac.
Twelve weeks until it's 763 F, according to the VBS fairy.

{3}

Prayed the Rosary with my RCIA Group last night.

*like*

{4}

Our "puppy" has doubled in size since we got her.
She hunts laundry lint
and likes licking everything within a nose length, naps, and snacks.
All while flat on her back.

The vet says she's thuper thmart, and we should train her to bird.

uh, really?

Because just today she lost a showdown with a grackle at her own dish.

{5}

Got a new-ish washing machine.

It cleans clothes, unlike my very old-ish washing machine, which just held clothes
floating in water, it seems.

More about that later....

{6}

Girls on horses!

We've achieved girls on horses!
Giggles, wide grins, dirt, sneezes, more grinning!

Again - more to follow....

and last but not least,

{7}

There's a lot of talk about what our
Christian walk should look like....
and much of it is true.

Obedience, service, discipline,
joy, fear, wisdom.

All are beautiful things in the perfect loving union
of the Bridegroom and His bride.

He is the Perfect Man.
At once, He is the Prince of Peace
and the Lion of Judah.
He is as enigmatic as He is utterly disclosed.

He leaves us hungry for more.
It might drive us crazy, but for faith....
that He is who He says He is.

He is dangerous, but incorruptible.
He is wild, but not reckless.

Loving Him, when we do it fully, is like
jumping after Him out of a helicopter
onto snow covered a mountain
sailing over the tops of ageless trees
into virgin territory.

There's a really good chance we'll die doing it,
following Him.
That's the point.

The exquisite point.

Beyond the pews and the youth group and the praise band is the
Eucharist.

"Take, eat, this is my body...
do this in remembrance of me."

It's important for me
to remember as Easter approaches,
that sacrifice and satisfaction
are not mutually exclusive.

One is done in order to partake fully in the other.

Dying to live.

In any case, it's extreme - like this:

(language alert -but this is so much fun to watch!)

Happy Weekend,
and may God richly bless you
my beloved.

Monday Madness.

2011-03-28T10:41:00.006-05:00

It's happened. We have a puppy.

Our member of the family 13 year old fluff ball of a speed bump, Chili, died in January.
Her death was not the peaceful sleepy passing I imagined for her, what she deserved. It's impossible to tell with old animals, and she was such a champ, so perpetually low maintenance in the way only mutts seem to be - food, water, brush, play, ear-scratch, snooze. For her to become so suddenly ill was shocking in and of itself. It makes me wonder what I missed, if I could have helped her more, but it's done. I'm not sure I've ever been so physically sad.

What I mean by that is I've missed her physical presence. I have lost family members in the last couple of years, and that loss affected me deeply, still affects me, emotionally and spiritually, but I was not in constant physical proximity to them. I didn't imagine them sleeping by the front door, or lapping water, loudly and sloppily, from a bowl, or lying on their backs in the sunshine.

When something is alive and in a home, it contributes (or detracts from) the groove, no matter how subtly. Our groove was off. Way off, yet we remembered Chili fondly, and did not know how long it might be before we were ready for another pet. I didn't know if I would ever be ready.

Until about three weeks ago.

And then she showed up.

Well not "showed up", exactly, we went to meet her, to check her out, to see if she might be a match we would consider for fostering so another family might adopt her. We declined to foster, deciding we'd bypass the middle man and just make her ours, because we were instantly hers. It dawned on me as we were driving home with her that it was 13 years earlier, almost to the day, that Lance and I had picked Chili from a cage full of squirmy pups, when we had just gone to the shelter to "look".

FYI, the window shopping concept when it comes to puppies makes about as much sense as browsing for ice cream. It ain't gonna happen like 'at.

And because every farm, no matter how small, how urban, how unplowed and unplanted and how dead the grass needs a dog, we again feel complete.

Groovy, Gracie!

(In case you're wondering, she looks like a black lab, but I believe her official breed is Full Blooded Muddy Water Lover. The AKC will be recognizing her any minute now.)

7 Lazy Takes - forgive me?

2011-03-25T00:26:00.008-05:00

Can't believe it's Friday again, ever grateful for the routine of 7 Quick Takes...
thanks, Conversion Diary Jen!
Link up, sugar, you know you wanna!

{1}

Horseback riding fail.

Mom fail.

Hoping horse back riding teacher lady will call and save Mom.

Amen.

{2}

Oh, gosh. Reading about this Colombian placement agency
gets me going...
going on adoption, going on Colombia.
I spent several weeks in Colombia in 1984, as a - well - child, of sixteen,
though you could not have convinced me of that then.
I had the Beautiful Tour, before the perpetual news
of drugs and violence and poverty.

All those things were there long before I visited,
but two weeks after the day of my return
a bomb was detonated in a cafe frequented by tourists
and as I recall two people were killed.
As she should have, my Mom canceled the return trip I had planned
for three months later.

I have not done much international travel, but
returning to South America is always on my short list.
I'm not likely to bear any more children,
but facilitating adoption is always on my short list.

Hmmm.

You, too? Maybe start with Kidsave?

{3}

Loving the weather here these last few days.

It's taken a while, but I can now identify a sea breeze,
distinct (or in concert?) from regular old wind.
A hot southerly breeze can blow in from the plains, then through it is
the gust from the gulf, brackish and musty
but cool cool cool.

I worked outside in the yard for the first time in ages,
and tasted salt on my lips.

Slowly, I'm understanding the attraction.

I'm wondering when I might meet Jimmy Buffet
or more importantly
someone who can manage my hair?

{4}

So much NFP, so little time.

So much thoughtful writing this week, including the comments,
here and here.

{5}

My ether-sister Gwen wrote a thoughtful review of what looks
to be a terribly important book about the experiences of the
concentration camp liberators of WWII,
Gated Grief.

I'm working up my guts to read the book -
I don't do well with the imagery of the Holocaust or slavery or
any genocide, visual or otherwise.
If you've read it, I'd love to know what you think,
and do read the review at Chew and Digest.

{6}

Mass isn't optional.

It's a choice, whether we attend or not.

But that isn't the same as optional.

The truth confounds.

{7}

It's so far past my bedtime, I'm thinking about tomorrow's bedtime.

Happy Weekend!
May God richly bless you, my beloved. Amen.

Gimme a Spring Break Friday, 7 randoms

2011-03-18T09:54:00.007-05:00

Reassuring and true, Jen Fulwiler of Conversion Diary
again invites us to join 7 Quick Takes and offer our thoughts for the week -
I'm so needy these days,
it feels more like a therapy session.
Only much less expensive, much more effective.

By the way - Jennifer is doing a terrific series during Lent
examining the meaning of each word of the Lord's Prayer,
carefully applying scope and context.
She's contributing, of course, and has some really
big thinkers joining her - do follow along if you can.

{1}

Dude, I'm addicted to Craigslist.
Or, I was, now I'm burned out on Craigslist.
Car shopping.
Furniture shopping.
All should be fun, I'm lucky to be able to do them.
Two weeks straight, hours a day, because I'm not just surfing
I really need to find some things
(things that always seem to be readily available when I don't need them).
Un. Unfun.
I've had enough.

{2}

My husband was in an accident that totaled his work car
so we've been shopping for a replacement.
We've also been spending a great deal of time and energy
attempting to disabuse the at-fault driver's insurance company
of their impression of "replacement value".
Now that an acceptable settlement has been reached,
we've located a vehicle, and are going to get it tomorrow.
This is a huge relief, since we only became a two car
family again back in December, after spending 6 months
determining my husband really cannot
do his job without his own ride.
This requires a prayerful "thank you"
and a big "AMEN".

{3}

My girls started CCD last Sunday, and I was so proud of them.
I hope that isn't wrong, but I was.
Their religious education is something we try to weave
into almost everything we do, but like most parents we often fall short.
I loved hearing them answer questions in their classes,
questions that had never been posed to them by me or their dad,
but because of their own curiosity and their automatic
default to see the Bible as their most important textbook, they knew.
Their mother should do so well.

{4}

Horse fever.
It's an illness that strikes little girls and is incurable except
by repeat exposure. Or it takes hold and never lets go.
We have the latter strain, apparently.
It's genetic, I still have it.
We've finally found a barn here that is affordable
and safe and offers the discipline we all prefer.
We're going to ride through the spring, take a break over the
summer, and maybe, just maybe, consider a horse of our own
in the Fall.
Unless we move again which not unlikely
I'm never going to get off the Craigslist, am I?

{5}

I am a die-hard home school advocate.
My girls have been learning at home for the last two years, but
now want to attend the school my son is attending.
I had only intended to send him for Kindergarten,
maybe 1st grade, and have them all at home
after that for the duration.
I was conflicted, then convinced, now I'm back to conflicted.
It's a super sweet Catholic elementary, I'm very impressed
with their academics, I am certain of their spiritual intent.
People, it's expensive, and I'm telling you all that
horse-y talk will have to go right out the window
if we enroll all three.
There also would not be any extracurricular stuff -
I can't justify asking for a supplemental
scholarship for fees while we're spending some serious bank on
recreation, and even if I pick up my work schedule that is
all the room in the budget we would have.
Is it unreasonable to pose this to children so young?
Choose your sport, basically, because they're both elective?
Help?

{6}

My brother is having our mothers house transferred into his name today.
This is by our mutual agreement, it's over due and I'm glad
to have the paperwork shuffle completed.
It's a little disconcerting, though, too - it's the last thing with her name on it,
she is finally gone from the earth, except to us.
I didn't expect to feel this way, and I can't quite place it.
The house she was living in
was never my home, so it's not sentimentality for a piece of
real estate.
It's simply such an awesome thing, that her identity has
been changed so utterly.

{7}

Which leads me to Lenten reading.
Which I'd actually sworn off of, because of my own wrong-headedness
about it. I couldn't merge the academic and the spiritual elements
for some reason, there wasn't any effectiveness, I wasn't learning,
I wasn't even really reading.

But then the minute I decided to forgo the usual stack of recommended
reading I usually order and ignore, a book from a year or two back,
who even knows when I got it, caught my eye so I grabbed it.

I usually devour books. Two days, tops, unless it's Ayn Rand or Tom Clancy
and then it's 2.5 years. But really, I go into a trance, little food, less sleep, and do not
come around until the back cover closes with a thump
(or a whisper, if it's a soft cover).
I love the intensity of it.
I hate the wake (of laundry and dishes) it leaves.

This book I'm forcing myself to read about three pages at a time.
I'm even going back and rereading some of pages I've
read too quickly. I've looked up the Bible verses that are referenced
so I completely understand the context of the authors thoughts.

There's one paragraph that has stuck with me, one that has made
the few pages I've struggled through - because reading slowly is a
struggle for me - so clear, and so well worth it, and so glad I'm reading this
particular book (emphasis my own):

In accord with his original intent,
the heavenly Father has in fact prepared
an individualized kingdom for every person,
from the outset of creation.
That may seem impossible to us.
But we do have a very weak imagination toward God,
and we are confused by our own desires and fears,
as well as by gross misinformation.
It is a small thing for him.

Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy

May all our imaginations toward God be strengthened -
through him, with him, and in him.

Blessed weekend, my beloved.

Amen.

Salt and Light, Kristofferson edition

2011-03-06T10:23:00.004-06:00

I am a life-long Kris Kristofferson fan, and am constantly, and often sweetly, surprised at how many iterations of his songs turn up and by how many different styles of artist. His lyrics are poetic, with a stand alone quality. His music provides an element of engagement though - it rolls over and around the words like cream clouding in coffee. They make each other better. He is underestimated as a writer (perhaps it's more precise to say he's not known by many to write so well?), and is often only connected with his best known Me and Bobby McGee.

There's not a thing wrong with Me and Bobby McGee, it's a generation bender, and of course Janis Joplin's raspy rendition gave rise to many a happy drunken sing a long. On any given Saturday night, it's likely you'd be able to talk a house band, irrespective of genre, into playing a round of Bobby McGee, and anyone old enough to be legal in the place would know at least part of the words.

Not a bad legacy, but Kris is no one hit wonder.

My favorite Kristofferson song is a lonely man's hymn, saved for Sunday. It is another timeless and complicated theme, and the lyrics are moving and self-indulgent to the point that the beauty of the tune is sometimes left behind - don't make that mistake.

I hope if you haven't heard it, you'll listen carefully, and if you have heard it, you'll listen carefully. There are other versions, it's particularly effective as a duet Kristofferson often performed with Johnny Cash. I chose this one because when I read the lyrics I always imagine the age and gruffness in the voice that this one has. It's a song worth knowing.

Happy Sunday, beloved.

Thoughts on Lent....7 of 'em

2011-03-04T08:26:00.008-06:00

I don't want to make a list for Lent this year. I know for it to be effective, for it to have any sincerity, I will have to be very specific and unconcealed. I prefer hiding in generalities, like "be nicer to my brother" or "bake more". Not that those things are bad, but there's no sacrifice in them for me, nothing deliberately awakening. So I did, I made a real list.

This week, the always enlightening
Seven Quick Takes
usually at Conversion Diary
is being hosted by the
always adorable
Hallie Lord of Betty Beguiles.

Thanks, Mrs. Beguiles, for hosting us.

Now hop on over and read, or link up and share those thoughts
that are rolling around in that noggin of yours.
You know you wanna.

7 TAKES FOR LENT

{1}

Attend Mass daily.

This is not a giving up, so much as establishing proper order to my day.
I'm looking forward to it.
I have no excuse not to do it, since we attend the Parish of my son's school,
I'm there everyday at 7:50, Mass is at 8, what's the big whoop?
The big whoop is it sounds good now, it won't in the morning.
People are weird, or at least I am, when I consider that
I really enjoy Mass, for many reasons, I'm always glad I went,
I'm always sorry when I don't go,
and as a Catholic in training I could use the enrichment.

{2}

Care for my body, so I can care for the Body.

there is a list within a list, here, that I'll spare you,
but it involves a long overdue physical, daily exercise,
and some serious deliverance from evil.
There's a big lack of outreach and hospitality in my family's
life these days, and that's not like us.
I don't mean to imply we're sacrificial givers or the light of the
neighborhood, but I've noticed how tired
and sloppy I've gotten over the last few months, and it interferes
with our usual enthusiasm for sharing, inviting, and helping.
It's a strange thing to tie together, but it makes perfect sense to me.

{3}

Give up alcohol, buying it and drinking it.
yikes

I need my head clear (see number 1).

I need the calories freed up for actual food (see number 2).
I need the money for other things (see number 4).

{4}

Contribute to and participate in Pro-Life causes.

I think it's really important to pray for and work actively for
the safety and dignity of the pre-born and their families.
That goes without saying.
To effectively live the philosophy, though, I find
it's necessary to consider the wider circle of need.
We've decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International,
and are contributing to friends adoption funds.
This is more of an ongoing project, with Lent being
the start of what I hope will be a
concern we address as a family, always.

{5}

Work a project a day, for home.

And finish my house, to the extent I ever consider it "finished".
We live here now, after all.

{6}

Work a project a day, for work.

And finish my work, or my husband is going to declare
a state of disaster in our garage and call Craig
and St. Vincent to clean it up.

{7}

Assume I'm wrong, and apologize for it.

In all things.
This may sound strange, but it's absolutely essential.
I'm giving up being right for Lent,
and my right to be offended,
and instead recognize that others have no
obligation to me to live up to my contrived sniff tests.
I don't mean waffling on truly moral positions,
or being manipulative or pitiful, I mean being soft instead of stubborn.
I mean letting someone else have his or her way,
to be themselves around me,
and stop insisting that they need me to call them to a higher standard.
Figuring people are operating with benevolence
rather than selfish motive.
Helping instead of complaining.
Listen instead of talking, and accept that I often misunderstand.
Acquiesce in times of conflict, and apologize directly and sincerely
and shoulder the entire responsibility
if that's what it takes.
Not because it's right, but because what does it cost me not to?
Nothing, and everything.

***********

And that's Lent.

I'd love to know what your own Lenten intentions are...share?

St. Mary of Egypt, Pray for Us.

Salt and Light

2011-02-27T14:50:00.000-06:00

In my imagination, I've totally finished designing my new web site, and you're looking at it now going "ahhh, I knew she was worth waiting for".

A girl can dream....

But rather than delay yet another entry, I thought I'd at least share with you what I mean for Sunday's to feel like around here.

As I've written before, St. Mary of Egypt is my Patron for 2011. She was a young woman who turned from her sin abruptly and completely, and lived the remainder of her life in the wilderness of the desert, in penitence, prayer, and purification. It would be entirely unlikely that I would do that - I'm not leaving my three children and the love of my life and my new puppy and my ice maker to go to the desert. I'm just not. It occurs to me, however, that the importance of her guidance of me is that I am in the desert. Whether I pack up and move there physically is beside the point. A good deal of prayer, penitence, and purification is in order, here and now.

Yay, Lent!

I would identify as an evangelical, to the extent I want my actions to spur others on to love and good deeds. I am a failure at expressing much more than sentimental meanderings about faith and spirituality, though I gratefully (Grace-fully) experience both much more
deeply than what the limits of emotion will tolerate.
Still, I do reserve the right to be occasionally overcome by the immensity of it all.
Deepening faith makes me want to talk less and do more.
In fact, I've become convinced that too much chatter on my part will likely talk someone right out of a new hope into a Richard Dawkins-like state of apoplexy,
even in the face of ordered reason. All these many words to say my faith is informed and encouraged by many, many writers, some of whom I've been fortunate enough to converse with on a variety of subjects, from Jesus to laundry to professional basketball, and they speak to these matters much more eloquently and cogently than I ever could - or, at least, better than I can at the moment.

So, Salt and Light might look like an interview one week, a round-up the next, a hijacked quote (all with appropriate credit, of course) the one after that. The main idea is faith, the message is Truth, the desired result is encouragement to examine closely what is important.
Urban Industrial Farmhouse Sunday Magazine thing-y.

For today, I was met right out of bed by some very thought provoking posts from all directions.

Let's look together, shall we, at a few links, and perhaps and introduction or two?

The Nester, of IDHTBPTBB fame, offers a kind reassurance to those of us who pursue our creativity in what is often considered, and often rightfully so, an arena of consumption and consumerism - it isn't, always, though it's good to be highly tuned into the potential pitfalls.

Betty Duffy looks closely at what poverty ISN'T, and how easy it is to fool
ourselves into a falsely righteous materialism.

I feel fortunate to have been introduced to the writing of my friendly blog world acquaintance, Pentimento. She is a mother and wife, an artist, a musician and musicologist, by talent and training, but she is no average academic - she is also a very gifted writer and all around big thinker. She worried today that she was being inappropriate, though I cannot think of a more appropriate plea than the one she made this morning, for any higher cause....

When I decided to tag Sunday's segment Salt and Light,
I hadn't yet met Alte, who blogs at Traditional Catholicism.
I've been wondering for the last few weeks where she's been all my life.
She is a beautiful girl, who also happens to be an intellectual,
who is unapologetically salt-y, when she wants to be.
I will tell you that her site is not always G rated,
or at least the exchange in the combox isn't,
but it never fails to be interesting or relevant,
and Alte wields her abilities as a moderator to make the
whole thing into nothing less than a first rate, if unconventional, ministry.
Her entry today was a hat tip to a hat tip to an article about our real enemy
and how we'd better get a grip, or else.
I thought I would third the motion.

Early in my blog-writing days (well, it's still early, I suppose, considering how easily I drop it for days on end) I came to admire the writing and sensibilities of Terry@ Breathing Grace - she blogs on a variety of topics, motherhood, faith, family, politics, the weather...in other words, real stuff. She is so CALM - I'm not linking to any particular post of hers, I want you to read several to get the feel, because what I appreciate about her message is that it is elevated by her attitude, her willingness to self-correct, to use it as a positive in her life,
rather than getting bogged down in misplaced pride.
Not that she needs much correction, I imagine, but she does, in fact, breathe grace.

If you don't read Simcha Fischer, you should.
I don't know how else to tell you.
h/t to The Jerk for my above "ice maker" reference,
and read about the fairy tale, here.

And so that's it.
I'm linked-out for now.
Discuss amongst yourselves, I need a nap.
May God richly bless you, my beloved.
Amen.

New tricks....7 quick ones!

2011-02-18T04:15:00.000-06:00

In case you hadn't heard, it's Friday!
The ever hospitable Jen at Conversion Diary
is hosting another round of
7 Quick Takes.

Hop over, link up, join in.

I am roughly six, in dog years, so I am on the cusp
of youthful wide-eyed wonder
*snort*
and being ~~hopelessly set in my ways~~
firmly rooted in my belief system.
Because I'm bad at following directions,
my 7 quick takes for today
have a common theme:
things I've learned
over the past several weeks
as I've gone, full immersion style, into the world of....
*COUPONS*

I occasionally enjoy
visiting about this sort of thing, and have written about it
before, but really, I figure everyone has enough
going on in their own lives that hearing about my grocery shopping
is not high on their list, and frankly I'd rather not relive it
as if it were a memory to cherish or anything.

so....my disclaimer goes like this:

This is merely an overview of my very limited experience.
There are many many sites dedicated exclusively to the effort.
You're dealing with an amateur, here, relatively speaking,
so if you already know all this stuff, will you please leave a comment,
and let me know your
favorite tip/experience/shopping habit
that you felt was really worthwhile?
Thank you!

{1}

It was tempting to clip and save every single coupon I came across.
Rookie mistake.
Don't do it.
Ultimately, I threw out more than I used.

{2}

Clipping coupons is not for the faint hearted,
or the easily distracted
and doesn't count toward college credit for your
home schooled chirins, so avail thyself
of a clipping service, forthwith.

For my purposes, the clipping services achieved three objectives:

un -I can pick and choose the q's (see me use the terminology?)
I want, and order them. Done.

deux- They're neatly clipped, by someone else.
I pay per q for the time they spend clipping.
It is less than I would charge, and doesn't
cost any more than buying multiple newspapers
with all their hassles, paper waste, and ink all over me.

trois - I don't feel guilty about throwing away things I'm
not using - perceived savings is a tricky thing, and
hanging on to q's or ads because I might use them,
someday,
involves way too much angst.
I cannot justify forfeiting peace and simplicity for
savings, no matter how many the dollars.

{3}

START AND STAY ORGANIZED!
I made rookie mistakes in this area, too,
underestimating the sheer quantity of 3inch squares of
paper that I was inviting into my life.

A system is CRUCIAL,
or all the money saved by using the coupons
will be gobbled up by the time it takes
to find the ones you're looking for.

I like the divided plastic page protectors,
like the one's used for
trading card collections
in a 2" binder,
subdivided into whatever categories suit
your shopping habits.

This binder should zip, and be zipped.
(cut to image of woman standing in grocery store parking lot
dropping coupon notebook
throwing herself a ticker tape parade.)

{4}

You can get a lot of stuff for free, but a lot of it will not
be relevant to you.
There are ways to "make money"
doing certain deals, swaps, buy-this-get-that's etc.,
and I do believe that it is worth pursuing if a
real savings can be achieved.
To do this very effectively I would classify it as a
three on the 1-4 scale of couponing difficulty - it's time consuming
and requires a level of patience and planning that I think
is only gained through experience.
I would say the final question before pursuing
freebies is the same as buying something on
sale...do you really need it or want it,
or have a way to use or give it productively?
It's important to remember that
free junk is still just junk.

{5}

Not everyone will be as enthused about your new
hobby as you may be.
You will get eye-rolls from the folks behind you in line
at the grocery store when it takes an extra
ten minutes for your check out
and from the occasional cashier
as if your savings is being withheld from
their very own paycheck
and from your husband,
when it takes an extra ten minutes to
get into bed at night because you now have to
clear off the mountain of pillows
and the mountain of rebate forms.
Your children, should they be so unlucky
as to be dragged with you to the store in the early
days of your coupon and sale matching,
will likely drop a negative comment or two
because it does seem to take so.much.longer.

but....

{6}

95% of the time
folks are very encouraging.
Cashiers and fellow shoppers alike oooh and ahhh
and ask questions and say "cool" and
are generally very kind.
Husband sets up a better organizational strategy
than I could have mustered, left to my own devices,
and appreciates the savings and the quality
of the results.
Children appreciate getting in on the act, and clip a few coupons
of their own, for the occasional bag of chips or bottle of juice
that calls to them from the aisles of items
labeled "only if you spend your own money".

{7}

My final thought/deep philosophical revelation
has to do with quality.
One of the most frequently asked questions of me and apparently
of many of the folks who do the coupon/savings bit much
better than I is the consideration of "real" food -
is it possible to do the coupon thing when your diet
revolves almost entirely around fresh and whole foods,
or if you have dietary restrictions?

The answer is a resounding YES!
I have a post outlined for the new site that deals with
this question and that of quality contributions
to food banks that will be more detailed, but
the short version is yes, there are more and more coupons
available for the increasing number of organic offerings
by major food labels, and many offering savings off of
meat, dairy and produce with a purchase of a product such
as bread or pasta sauce or whatever...
stores are getting in on the act with similar and matching savings,
and there are an increasing number of sites
devoted to informative heads up about special sales and features
from web based stores.

Thanks for reading along...happy weekend,
and may God richly bless you, my beloved.

General Practice.

2011-02-08T21:26:00.000-06:00

If I were a physician (Lord help us all)
GP would not be a discipline available to me.
I would have to be a specialist of some kind,
like shin bone injury expert,
or a researcher in experimental and alternative paper cut therapies.
I think it's best to keep your work personal, ykwim?

I am not good at living what I think of as an "integrated" life.
I have a ~~driving compulsion~~ preference for compartmentalization,
of keeping things blocked in their own spaces.
While this approach works for matters of physical organization
and occasionally for child rearing,
it rarely surfaces on a Top 10 Ways to Live a Wonderful Life list.

they have those, right?

What I can never manage to get my head around is that
there is no such thing as a segregated life,
there aren't really any specialties,
at least not with any peace or honesty about the thing.

The Cottage Child was meant to be part of a whole life,
not a pasty, self-indulgent eccentric in the basement
who refers to herself in the third person.

So I'm moving upstairs.

URBAN INDUSTRIAL FARMHOUSE
will be the new joint.

The story behind the name is our name, and the rest will be
on the new page, but what we do is:

Design, home life and home keeping, food,
growing things (kids, weeds, mold, faith),
learning and doing.

I really REALLY hate to classify it as a "lifestyle" space -
others do it so.much.better.

Maybe an enrichment opportunity is a better description -
not because I'm so fabulous, and I'm certainly not about to impart
any life altering wisdom ...at best, I'm just the hack medium.
The point is a collected approach - fresh voices, big thinkers,
and all around good people and places and things to know.

(It's gonna be a week, maybe, before all cylinders are firing?
But...I would love your company, if you're game for the trip.
Links are imminent, more here in the meantime)

Peace/out.

Love, Rachael.

Junk Pile Love, redux

2011-02-07T12:10:00.000-06:00

Because Mondays are
crazy, busy, funny, unpredictable, fractious,
frenetic, fussy, and altogether unruly,
I've decided they're also prime for retread posts.

Here's the other thing:
I haven't done blip with my shutters.
I'm not going to tell you what my husband calls them.
It's not "shutters".
I will tell you that I've finally dragged the giant things
out of the garage and am contemplating
their career placement.
We had 14 ft ceilings and space when I bought them -
now, well, we don't.
But I love them still, and so a job I shall give them.
any ideas?

And see that pink heart shaped vintage birdcage thing-y.
That will come into play, later this week.
Stay tuned baby, stay tuned.

And now, for our encore of the old, old tale:

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE:
MY NAME IS RACHAEL, AND I LOVE JUNK
I HAVE NO INTENTION OF STOPPING

I WILL GO TO MY GRAVE WITH A PAINTBRUSH IN ONE HAND
AND A BIBLE IN THE OTHER
(a very old Bible, of course, with dog eared pages and a worn out cover)

The current objects of my obsession are these beauties.

Mid 1800's New Orleans

11 feet tall

thick with about 9 different shades of green chippy peely paint

LOVE.

LOUVRE LOVE.

HARDWARE LOVE.

PANEL LOVE.
(with a little field grass from the junk pile love thrown in.)

MEANT 2B2GETHA 4EVAH LOVE.

This incredible composite of color is about the ONLY color I've allowed in my house of late.

It is my soulmate.

LOVE ME, LOVE MY JUNK.

AMEN.

The plan for my newest oldest acquistion is to:

a) pick my husband's jaw up off the floor and help him recover his religion - and to think he kisses me with that mouth!

b) repair as many louvres as possible, and glue a couple of the joints.

c) knock off the dirt and grass and who knows what else - eeewwww!

d) put a on quick coat of flat waterbased polyurethane to kind of hold them together and seal in the lead off-gasses

e) to lean them, as they are, against the giant blank wall in our master bedroom and soak in all their sculptural beauty and think of what they've held in, and what they've held out, in their 150+ years of existence.

Peace.

copyright/copycat info..

2011-02-05T17:48:00.006-06:00

I don't write much worth repeating, but should anyone be so inclined:

All written, photographed, or otherwise presented material by Rachael Urban, Rachael D. Urban, Urban Industrial Farmhouse, The Cottage Child, thecottagechild.blogspot.com, and all content sent from the below listed email addresses*, are considered copyrighted/restricted material, are retained in ownership as the material and intellectual property of Rachael Urban, and are protected by all laws barring infringement.
No permission to reproduce or reuse any of these materials is granted without the express written permission of/by Rachael Urban, 2008-2011.

*rachael@urbanindustrialfarmhouse.com, rachael@thecottagechild.com, rachaelu_homestead@yahoo.com, rachael.urbanfarmhouse@yahoo.com, rachael@witbehind.com, rachael@lanceurban.com

Amen.

A blogger divided....pt. 2

2011-02-05T15:55:00.003-06:00

...or perhaps not?

I will, do, insist upon and encourage you to read and participate at Wit Behind the Ears. It's a terrific project, none of that has changed, only I won't be contributing - except to comments in my eternal pursuit to derail threads.

I'm divided, still, but a merger is on the horizon.

Life is too short for discontent, and after much talk therapy (which involved my husband insisting that I get over myself - don't hire your husband as your therapist, unless you want the cold hard truth at midnight on a Friday), good things are happening. Really good.

So, tune in next week, or the week after that, maybe, because, well, for better or worse, you know me...for what promises to be a fun and productive 2011.

I've named it my Second Quarter Resolution - be there, or wish you had been.

Tune in Monday, if you can handle the angst.

A blogger divided....pt. 1

2011-02-04T09:19:00.013-06:00

...or rather, I, who sometimes blog, who have multiple interests, few organizational skills, and computer skills?.... fewer still.

I am quite flattered that I have readers at all, much less you high-caliber folks who have hung in with me through nonsensical posts, dead air for weeks, fractious self-indulgent whining, bizarre political rhetoric, miscellaneous personal crises, Jesus et al, and the occasional piece on the subject matter I intended to address when I first started this case study in How To Not Blog Successfully.

So I quit.

Not really, I'm just shifting in my seat a little, so I can see better, and so my butt cheeks won't fall asleep.

I have two long time blog world friends who I would choose for real life sisters - and sisters we've become. We are different, utterly, in style, but are kindred spirits, devoted to a single cause - living real life while buffeting our collective sense of humor.

And we can't seem to stop talking about it, so we decided to inflict ourselves on others....
marginal humor and dirty underwear go global.

You're welcome.

We share a love for design, books, cooking and/or eating, a general bent for healthy/balanced living and other cerebral pursuits - oh, and lifting lines from comments to use as material.

Please, please come get in on the joke at Wit Behind the Ears. I can't promise you won't be sorry, but I can promise you won't be able to look away.

C'mon, you know you wanna....really, you'll want to before I break into a verse of "Get Here"....

You can reach me at rachael@witbehind.com. Or here. Or there. When you can. Amen.

(official Wit begins next Monday - notice how grown up my cohorts are, with the early posts, organized social media tabs, and their own shmancy signatures - come back here later for pt. 2, so you'll know who The Cottage Child wants to be if she grows up...)

St. Mary of Egypt, pray for us!

2011-01-28T16:12:00.000-06:00

St. Mary of Egypt, we pray with you for your fellow Alexandrians and all of Egypt.

Lord, hear our prayers.

Amen.

Etsy, kind of...

2011-01-20T14:10:00.003-06:00

Y'all, there is so much freakin' stuff going on around here I cannot even begin to itemize it,
but I finally, after two years of failed effort,
managed to post a handful of things to
ETSY
...it's only the beginning and hardly my best foot forward,
but if you'll loan me a crutch,
I'll hobble on to dazzle you more in the future.

In other words, more to follow over the coming days. Etsy, and here.

How in the world are you, anyway?

she's nothing if not current....

2011-01-06T13:39:00.003-06:00

Am I the last person in the universe to learn of these fabulous people?

That is a rhetorical question, no answer need be submitted, Cotton.

and all the rest of you.

If you haven't already, like maybe you were born last weekend and are just now getting it together, check them out.

And then print something.

And then enjoy it.

And then say a little prayer for nice people who share.

Amen.

Because life shouldn't be stinky....

2011-01-05T12:11:00.004-06:00

.....at least not when you can help it.

Over at this girl's fine spot, she posed a challenge - an underwear challenge. I met the challenge and insisted everyone else here do the same.

Since the kids have to do what I say, and my husband is away on business, I accomplished this without argument or resistance.

Although I suspect underwear is going to be in the clothing budget come February.

YAY!

Hey, have you seen that SNL skit where the girl wins an extreme home do-over, the fact of which she is entirely unimpressed by, but the hostess of the segment is trying to get her enthused by way of her own over the top reaction, which she has to curtail because the winner chic just doesn't get it?

No, you have no idea what I'm talking about?

Well, anyway, that's what I mean by YAY!

I think the prospect of new underwear should be very exciting, but I really want to buy the $44 pair of body transforming mom-tummy eliminating Levi's I've been reading about. They're cheaper than the $100 cleanse I did, that should come with toilet paper coupons and IV fluid replacement, that did not work on the mom-tummy, but I'm sure I'm quite "cleansed".

So, tiny all caps is the best I can do. Underwear in, life-altering blue jeans out.

However, while contemplating what might be the real solution to the mom-tummy, I devised a challenge of my own:

LETS CLEAN OUT THE REFRIGERATOR!

YAY! Notice how I've italicized for emphasis, here.

I needed to do this for several reasons, not the least of which is there were some seriously aged leftovers in there. I needed my storage containers and my shelf-space back. I needed a snack and was ticked that HALF A CHEESECAKE was lingering in the back, beyond edibility. That is no way to start the New Year in which you've resolved to waste no food.

I guess if the cheesecake had been edible, I would have eaten it, thereby obliterating the other resolution, not eating snacks.

Dammit.

Last thought, and what honestly irritates me the most, was that I felt I didn't allow enough time this year to do the gift-baking I usually do, when in fact, I was mostly overdoing quantities for the benefit of my own presentation, which I was just bragging was so marvelously downscaled I couldn't possibly be any purer of heart and intention.

Except I can.

That one ginormous cheesecake could have been three smaller ones, I have the cute little springform pans after all, just begging to be used, or I could have just cut up slices and handed them out in the days before Christmas, taken them to my husbands office, to the shop and wrap weary neighbors who do crazy thoughtful things ALL THE TIME, like bring my trash can up from the curb and bring us bread crusts for the kids to feed to the gulls at the park.

Instead, an hours work and a lot of money and good cheer ended up rotten, in the trash. So much more than a dumb cheesecake. It was a waste of appreciation.

I have to plan better. That's really all there is to it.

Amen.

My favorite things this Christmas.....

2010-12-31T09:03:00.005-06:00

...the practical debriefing, in seven e-z takes.

This Christmas was, in a lot of ways, as crazy, busy, emotional, tiring, worrisome, nut ball as it has been in years past, as much as I hoped to simplify and de-stress the goings on, more than ever I now understand and appreciate that goal as a process (or series of processes, really).

I have a question: did you know that you cannot control other people? Really! They're largely uncooperative when I'm trying to steer them into my idea of "perfect". Much like the petting zoo animals in the living nativity scene, someone is always trying to chew through their leash, getting something dirty, or wandering off, only to be brought back by the nice patrol officer down the way (you know who you are - next year it's my turn).

People, please. Me - I - I know what "perfect" should look like, so if you'd just follow along in your workbooks, and raise your hand before going rogue with the seating arrangement, we might just pull this thing off.

No, as it turns out, I don't do "perfect". I used to try, I felt the urge needling at me every couple of hours when people were trying to help me (though I could write a long, bitter, long, bitter, post on what the other control freaks in my family call "help"). Instead, I not only let them help, I only offered general preferences rather than directions, changed a couple of things without asking or fretting, used GIFT BAGS (this, people, is NOT part of my program), only made two desserts, and pretty much winged the whole affair, other than the meal, and only really micro-managed that because my ancient oven only has one rack.

And it rocked.

And I still have too much dessert left over.

I'm calling this my "practical" list, because it involved budgeting of one resource or another - time, energy, money - or a new idea I learned from, not anything as groovy as seeing Santa or feeling the Holy Spirit, although we gladly, gratefully did both. And I pray you did to. Amen.

so, here goes - and if you're feeling participatory, check out Conversion Diary, and join in
7 Quick Takes, and feel the love, or the satisfaction of successful linking, whichever you're needing just now.

(1)

WE MOSTLY STUCK TO OUR GIFT BUDGET

I say mostly, because I didn't keep the meticulous track of it that I
intended to, and some shopping took place in the wine aisle of the
grocery store, and a few extra things were purchased at a smell-good
store, but overall, I'd say we were within $50.
I realize $50 is a huge amount, I'm certainly not bragging, just relieved.
This means December money was spent on Christmas, not
January and February money.
That is a first for us. No bills to worry over, no adjusting other payments,
just absorbed and flagged for correction for next year.

(2)

WE STUCK TO OUR GIFT GIVING GUIDELINES

Besides busting the "budget" in years past, we've also overwhelmed
our children with a destructive quantity of the unnecessary.
They didn't need it, and this year, they didn't miss it.
Grandparents and other family also took our pleas and push-back seriously,
and though gifts were fewer, none were ever more appreciated,
and no one left the tree feeling less than wonderfully celebrated.
We have been blessed with quality, meaningful, lasting gifts
that will be enjoyed for years, rather than moments.

(3)

I USED GIFT BAGS, AND WILL AGAIN

Clearly I am stubborn, and a slow learner.
I have resisted the gift bag for what, 20 years now?
I finally conceded that they do indeed have a place, and
allowed them across the threshold and into our lives.
One huge benefit I'd been missing while denying the bags
was the participation of the kids in wrapping some of the gifts.
They enjoy using papers and ribbons, and their technique has improved
considerably, but it's time-consuming, they lose interest, and use all the tape.
One box in.
My very frugal and creative MIL used ONLY gift bags.
Hers were all the fabric-ish reusable grocery bags in pretty
festive patterns and colors. It was like two gifts in one.
She bought them at the dollar store and her grocery store
for a dollar, naturally, and while she said it might have been
slightly more expensive than paper bags or wrap, she was glad
it wasn't just going to end up in the trash can.
That works for me.
Considering how much fabric I own, making a few totes
to use as gift bags
are going on the list for next year.

(4)

WE DIDN'T NEGOTIATE FAMILY POLITICS

When I say we didn't negotiate politics, we didn't do the the
trade-off/calendar dance with our divorced and remarried parents
and assorted brothers and sisters.
We celebrate Christmas eve and Christmas day in our home,
our door is open and you know where to find us.
Everyone is welcome, they can stay here on a first-come,
first-served basis, otherwise hotels abound
and other visits can be arranged during the season.
No this year/next year
alternating for us to keep track of.
We handed back the responsibility of work it out amongst yourselves.
We love and respect our families, but we're BUSY, they're all adults,
I KNOW THEY CAN DO IT!
I cannot tell you the amount of stress and energy this saved.
I don't know if anyone was mad, if so, they didn't say so.
I am confident, though, that we made the right decision to stay out
of that whole process.

(5)

THE KIDS DECORATED THE TREE

If you don't know this, I am a designer by training.
Christmas is my Superbowl.
I don't do traditional red and green, so it's a welcome challenge
every year to come up with a fresh spin
on our mostly white decorations.

This year my spin was to abdicate my entire responsibility to
the chilrens.
And it was fantastic!
We did this Christmas eve day, not in some sort of Holy Effort
to Properly Observe Advent,
but because it was when we felt like doing it,
when we could enjoy it.

My husband strung the lights, and I got out the two crates of
handmade ornaments, both mine and my husbands, and the
kids craft projects from school. It filled our little tree magnificently,
and it was worthy of the pride we all felt in our little art works
dedicated to the Divine.
It is one of the prettiest trees I've seen in a long time.

Other than our Advent candles, we had only a wooden nativity,
also not the one I usually display, and a gum drop tree,
which was the hit of our neighborhood.
My son's birthday is in January, and he wants to leave it up
for his party.
I'm not sure I can keep the dog away from it that long.
She's already licked the sugar off of most of the drops.

(6)

WE KEPT THE MEAL AND THE EVENTS SIMPLE

I am inclined to go overboard and over budget on the
Christmas meal. I usually have a menu that rivals the weekend
brunch at a high-end hotel, and I really enjoy doing it.
But this year, I knew I wasn't up for the sheer physical
effort of it, and frankly, where we live now, getting
some of the ingredients I typically use would be a time-consuming
battle that may or may not have been winnable.

I ordered a ham, prepared a few standards, added something new,
left off the stuff that never gets eaten anyway, and though it
was counter-intuitive, I turned down all but the most carefully
edited offers of contributions.
My FIL made his signature whiskey sour,
MIL made her famous pecan pie,
and other folks brought appetizers and bread.
Done, and done.
And done well.

I also didn't plan any outings.
We went for several neighborhood walks, rode new bikes,
hit a sale at CVS (tissue for next years gift bags), etc,
but mostly we just relaxed and enjoyed our time together.
Usually, we have a dinner out, go to a movie another day,
maybe visit a local attraction - those activities alone
can scare the hell out of several hundred dollars,
not to meNtion my energy level, when we're
all together - talk about dipping into next year's money.

Instead, we watched the Narnia movies the kids got for
Christmas on our regular old non-blu ray dvd player and tube tv,
drank more whiskey sours and polished off the pie.
Naps were taken, books were read, toys assembled.
We rested in each others happiness,
benefited from the stillness.

(7)

I QUIT TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME

My children impressed me, my husband impressed me,
I let them feel as important as they are, for a change.
I can't spend enough money, time, or energy to make up
for what amounts to underestimating the people most
important to me. There isn't enough of any of those things
to do that.

I attempted to impress no one, but instead let myself be
properly impressed
by The Gift.

And that's the Holy Spirit for you, moving large in the minutiae
of the everyday.

God is practical like that.

Happy New Year!
And may God richly bless you,
my beloved!

The Way of Things.

2010-12-30T20:22:00.000-06:00

José de Ribera. 1651.

This year has been a tumultuous one for our family, in good ways.

We've...
relocated.
Set up housekeeping.
Painted.
Resumed home schooling.
Painted.
Begun new work lives.
Painted.
Received humbling health news.
Considered possibilities.
Investigated change.
Experienced Grace.
Painted.

Family and I have not been faithful churchgoers this past year.
We recognize the importance of a curious spiritual life
and routine Church attendance is one leg
of fulfilling that call.
That's why it's called spiritual.

Ritual.
A dirty word to some,
but really, an elevated routine, if done properly.
Routine for my stubborn self suggests what I'm supposed to do.
Ritual seems more like something special I've been invited to, included in.
It's hard not to like that.
God's good that way, tickling our humanity
with an embrace and friendly enticement.

One of my favorite concepts in verse in the Bible
is in Exodus:
"And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend."
I hope to experience that depth of conversation with Him.
He is, after all, our fastest friend.

The Church we've decided to be embraced by
is different than churches previous.
We've been attending a Roman Catholic Church,
the Parish of the school my son attends.
This comes as no small surprise to anyone, mostly me.
I am a lifelong Protestant, steeped in what was once a conservative
Methodist tradition, later became Episcopalian,
and more recently identified as Missionary Anglican,
and while I loved each of the church families
we were blessed to worship with,
for myriad reasons, none were a fit.
I am not "officially" a Catholic,
though I've felt connected to The Church since I was five years old,
like I was meant to be there
and will spend this next year pursuing fuller understanding
through RCIA.
I had a lot of misconceptions to overcome,
as is the way with learning meaningful things
and now it's getting down to the good stuff.

One of the traditions of The Church, of course,
is the study of the lives of the Saints,
and adopting - or being adopted by -
a Saint who's life and work and faith offer lessons and
insight (and they all do) that enhances
our own life and spiritual journey.
or something like that.

For the journey this year, the Saint
I've chosen to study and call on
(or did she choose me?)
is
St. Mary of Egypt.

Her story is dramatic, and her life of penitence was lived in the desert.
But it wasn't a random wandering, it was purposeful, if wild.
She changed, utterly, through her faith.
Very compelling, this woman.

This is a year prime for penitence,
for a time apart from the cloy of the world
in the good desert of purification.
My sins are not like hers, not the same actions,
but dishonoring nonetheless, and
it's time for some serious putting away.

St. Mary of Egypt, will you please pray with me?

h/t to The Anchoress, and to Conversion Diary

merry and bright....

2010-12-22T12:51:00.003-06:00

Peace be with you this Blessed Advent, and Merry Christmas.

See you next year, and may God richly bless you my beloved.

Amen.

Top 10

2010-12-19T12:40:00.005-06:00

The top ten list of Very Funny Things That Have Been Heard/Said around The Cottage, just today, by The Children, and the responses of their mother, who isn't nearly as funny:

(first, did you hear, Betty Duffy likes my post, she really really likes it? Thanks, Betty. I'm humbled that you've visited at all. It's like a visit from these girls, who complete me.)

10) " did you know Jesus has to have twelve (o)possums?"

As long as they're not having babies in the trash can, He can have whatever He wants.

9) "mine's mother in law is the nice one"

Oh, really?

8) "cookies are not the same as dinner"

Says your father.

7) "Costco should really ship this stuff upside down"

Says your father.

6) "the candles lit the wise man on fire"

He should really pay closer attention when I'm speaking to him, it's for his own good.

5) "mommy is probably lying down"

She wishes. She tripped and fell and opted to not get up.

4) "Mommy, you drank that really fast"

Yes, to make room for another.

3) "is this Christmas food, or leftovers?"

It's whatever you'd like it to be, sweetheart.

2) "are we getting a tree, or a bush?"

It's whatever you'd like it to be, sweetheart.

and the number one excited utterance heard up in here....brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......is that how you spell drum roll?

1) "Mommy said Santa isn't wrapping again this year, because we used all the tape in the backyard".

That means whatever you'd like it to mean, sweethearts.

Can you believe it's only a week away?.....He's here and He's on his way. I love that.

I LOVE THAT about Him.

Y'ALL!!!!

2010-12-14T15:08:00.005-06:00

After three long years of high school French, I have no idea what this couple is discussing -
but look at that belly!

Someone - SOMEONE - is in there!

Sadness creeps close, because even at that stage they've been denied.

But...

will you let yourself imagine what Mary thought, felt, struggled to understand, as all of us who have carried children have, in our bellies and our hearts -

can my child really change the world?

He can if we'll let him, if we won't deny him.

Validity enough.

Happy, Joyous Advent, fellow Penitents.

Amen.

Seven days of no dinero....

2010-12-12T11:46:00.005-06:00

And no money.

That's not exactly true, I have a little money, I just don't want to spend it. I'm feeling thrifty.

So this year, we're not buying anything Christmas-y.

And it's giving me hives, because never has a year passed in my married life that we haven't bought something to signify a particular Christmas. Christmas decor detox. Will my insurance cover that?

But alas, I do not think the cure for my bumpy itchy skin is buying something just to say I bought it. And I'm positive that I'll faint clean away if I stop to consider how I might store

one.more.thing.

So, this isn't a deep philosophical reflection, only a window into our little, slightly neurotic world. Come on in, we have cookies from a mix and non-dairy creamer'd coffee waiting just for you, because I really don't feel like going the grocery.

You're welcome.

Why are you here, you ask? Fine, I'll tell you....

That's our Advent wreath/candles thing-y up there. I have no idea who that kid is in the background. It's a vintage (if 1980's is vintage) iron get-up, that holds 5 candles, and we use it all year round. This year, I enlisted it for Advent use (I usually buy an evergreen wreath for our Advent candles, and I really wanted to order one from the Norbertine Sisters - but it wasn't in the family plan for spending this time around, though they are lovely and I think would serve anyone well should they care to order one in future years). I added boxwood greenery from our front yard, and there you have it.

Zero dollars, no storage, nothing to throw away or lament the deterioration of - in other words,

..............no excuses not to do it. Priceless.

I love that while it is usually part of our everyday lives, it has elevated purpose for an elevated season. To me, that makes it doubly special. The Holy discovered in the every day.

Joyous Gaudete Sunday to you, beloved.

Amen.

What about guacamole?

2010-11-23T16:13:00.005-06:00

The TSA in it's infinite wisdom, has handed down the Thanksgiving Feast No Fly List.

Culinary prejudice and cuisinism are threatening an otherwise fabulous celebration of gluttony expense of the traveling hoards of sauce-bearers. This is blatant class discrimination. Woot!

Here's a taste:

Cranberry sauce
Creamy dips and spreads
(cheeses, peanut butter, etc.)
Gift baskets with food items
(salsa, jams and salad dressings)
Gravy
Jams
Jellies

And another morsel:

Maple syrup
Oils and vinegars
Salad dressing
Salsa
Sauces
Soups
Wine, liquor and beer

I want to know a few things:

Why is pie allowed? If not properly set, a pie is at least as liquid-y as the disallowed cranberry sauce.

And what's with the gravy-hate, if not profiling? Because seriously, when I make an appropriately saturated-fat filled lamb gravy, and put it in the fridge, it could pass as pie filling within a couple of hours.

What about seven layer dip? Who's to say that's not a pie?

What if I hide my gravy in my pie? (wait - that didn't come out right....)

Oh, and no snowglobes.

I repeat: No. snowglobes.

Now hand over that pie. I want to make sure it's safe.

Mean Mommy.

2010-11-15T07:39:00.004-06:00

So, we home school.

Mostly.

My daughters are schooled at home. We have a blast, and learn a lot, and try to make sure our academic accomplishments match our enthusiasm so as to not be mistaken for three gals who just hang out all day painting and making cupcakes.

even though that's what it seems like.

My son, on the other hand, has a totally different make-up. He asked...wait, he BEGGED to go to "real" school. Negotiated for it, emptied a piggy bank, did extra chores and even asked his Grandpa if he could help him afford it (yes, I told my Kindergartner he would have to pay for part of it because it would have to be a religious private school).

It was a good return on investment. He rocks that place. He has 52 million friends, has all the teachers pegged and knows their names, knows which will or will not accommodate his foolishness, and generally drinks up the social environment and has absolutely no trouble with the academics. His behavior is heartening.

His weak spot? Uniforms.

Our school has a nice, conservative uniform, that comes with a stringent uniform policy. There are no exceptions. From the shoes to the non-freezing weather outerwear (if it freezes, any suitable coat is acceptable - oh, thank you, thank you, since hard freezes are such a common blight here in coastal south Texas) you're wearing spec or you're in "the room" for the days lessons.

"The room" is the library, not a dark cave or anything, but that's the rule - you go to the library on days you can't manage your uniform. Considering my relationship with laundry and how I feel about all verbal bi-pedals being in charge of their own wardrobes, I'm totally down with that.

It's not a punishment, exactly, it's a reminder. It's uncomfortable, if you're a social kid, like mine, a relief, if you're shy or not all that into uniforms.

Me, I'd have been ditching my uniform for sweats once a week and hanging out in the library. Reading and doing worksheets is what I lived for. Really.

But not my kid. No. It's like a good water boarding (not that he knows what that is), combined with a spanking, and grounding, and having all his Playmobil taken away forever. He vowed to never find himself in that circle of Hell known as The Library.

Magically, he forgets this consequence of (in)action on nearly a daily basis.

***I need to understand something, Heavenly Father, about this joke you've played on parents with regard to children's memories. Why is it that a child can remember for a month that you MIGHT have pizza on the first Wednesday of the interplanetary alignment when Mars is rising in the third house but cannot - EVER - remember to flush the toilet?***

This morning was on the cool side - not cold, not even shivery, but cool enough that an adorable gently used cotton sweat shirt with a cross and a shamrock would have been welcome. That's our cool weather approved sweatshirt, and we value them since I got a couple as hand-me-downs and they allowed me to avoid ordering the $40+ toggle front extra spectacular zip out fleece lined windbreaker. The pullover sweatshirts represent $40 to me, and comfort to the kid, so he knows the score. And he's in charge of getting them into the dirty clothes, and letting me know if both are dirty.

But he didn't.

And his father, who is also my husband, but for the purposes of this discussion is "his father", availed me of this information last night at approximately 11:49 p.m. , as he also availed me of the information that he was having his own wardrobe malfunction and could I help him with it since he really needed to get some sleep ~~after a hard day's watching football~~ ?

(explicative deleted)

Well, I did help his father. The guy's timing stinks, but for the most part he takes care of his own threads and isn't bad to have around, so I could handle it.

The kid, uh-uh. Not happening. He would have to choose his level of discomfort - "the room" or "the cold".

He opted for the cold. I knew he would. It'll be warm out by lunch, but everyone will assume Mommy didn't do the laundry, and made Poor Little Baby suffer for it.

And you'll be right, ~~judgmental hack~~ bushy tailed student teacher.

***Heavenly Father, I need to know why children, when learning the early lessons of actions rendering consequences, always play the card that make Mommy appear unsympathetic and lazy?***

I kissed his little red cheeks and rubbed his goose-pimply arms as I dropped him off with his vegetable tray for the teacher appreciation luncheon. He smiled, and thanked me...for putting his undershirt in the dryer to warm it up before he put it on, and for not making him go to "the room".

No worries, kid. That's the beauty of choosing your own consequences. We all make mistakes. We can wallow in it, or make it worse than it has to be, or spin it to mutual advantage. Maybe we could work on the "mutual advantage" part, and not leave Mommy in the dirt, with your dirty sweatshirt?

Less is more perfect.

2010-11-10T08:14:00.005-06:00

I am blessed in multitudes, profoundly, unquestionably.

There are few things I lack in this life. I was supplied with clear ability, purpose, and character - that while wobbly, frankly, has been a line that has never moved. I have crossed it, more than I can admit even to myself, but it points True North. That is what I appreciate about "good character" - I can change, cross back and forth over that immovable line, but with Grace I can to return to walk along it. It isn't mine, it's a state of being that I'm constantly invited to remain in........

.........to abide in.

A favorite song goes:

"I've done some things that make my conscience burn...
....I only hope that I've learned from my sins".

Is that ever an understatement.

Another favorite quote:

"It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law."

This statement refers to the condition of man and his relationship to God's Ten Commandments. The laws of God cannot be broken, they persist, perfectly, even as we hurl ourselves against them.

Sometimes it seems God reaches out, and catches us up in them, takes us by the shoulders and shouts "stop that!". Other times, He waits until we're bloodied and battered and He waits, until we're exhausted, and then gently wraps the wounds.

So rarely, we manage to just exist in the sanctity. Just there, in Communion, in the perfect uncomplicated simplicity.

My very gifted oldest child paints, spontaneously, beautifully. She's funny about it, declaring "it's not my hobby, it's just something I do."

Perfect uncomplicated simplicity. It's just something she does. Artist, much? It dwells within her, and she expresses it. The drive isn't about "fun", it's about satisfying a call. It exists whether she heeds it or not.

In years past, her works have gone into albums and onto calendars and greeting cards, even on to recognition at a community art festival. Being the woman of sloth I am, and a decidedly type-B perfectionist - done perfectly, or not at all - I have rarely framed her paintings, instead filing them away for the "perfect" - frame, house, moment in time, you name it. All the while I'm disappointed that I can't see them, frustrated that the time never arrives to enjoy them.

They were right there, the whole time. Like the Laws, I chose to keep myself separate from them.

This morning, without frames, or ceremony, only thumbtacks, I decided to exist with the beauty of her gift, her character, her nature. They hang just behind my vanity mirror, so I can see them at the same time I see my own reflection, so that I might be included, just a little, in the sanctity of the immovable line.

Amen.

+song lyric "Poetry": Walt Wilkins/Davis Raines
+quote: Cecil B. DeMille
+artwork: MP Urban

Friday, baby!

2010-11-05T01:17:00.004-05:00

DUDE!

It's Friday already.

Happens every week like clockwork, don't it?

So....
we're crazed
we're dazed
we're relatively unfazed
and ready for a weekend
that promises to be stunning
in the weather department.

Saddle up, friends, and ride with Jennifer at Conversion Diary
for this week's
Seven Quick Takes

{1}

I'm so ready for my husband to be home.
He's been away this week, all week.
I confess, I occasionally enjoy a night or two on my own
(well, as much on my own as I can be with three kids ;p).
I can tolerate three days.
Day four I'm hopeless and feeling forsaken,
and the kids begin considering which neighbor to call
should I take to my bed.

See you tomorrow, Sugar, with bells on.

{2}

I'm purging an item per day from my house for the entire month.
Some are big, some are small.
Some are given, some are sold.
Some are ceremoniously thrown into the giant city garbage can.
But I intend to be at least thirty items lighter
before December rolls around.

{3}

Would you please pray for my family member
who is experiencing some health issues?
It doesn't seem to be anything critical,
but still worrisome,
and peace on the heart would be most helpful, just now.
Thank you!

{4}

I love hearing of someone who has used something I've given them,
especially when it was something I was
having a hard time letting go of.
Even when I had no use for it, nor any prospects for using it.
My second daughter was born in March, and because that can mean
either snow or beach weather in south east Texas
I chose two possible "coming home" outfits in hopes of dressing her comfortably
but oh so cutely, regardless.
As it turned out, she came home from the hospital in a lap shirt and a diaper
with the cute hat and blanket from outfit number two,
the warm weather one, and I set aside the
day gown for church and outings because it was just so awkward
trying to strap her into the carseat with that skirt-y gown on.
(It took me three babies to figure out that no one sees
the ride-home outfit, except the dog and the grandparents, none of whom cares.)
Outfit number one hung in the closet, for over eight years,
clean, soft, and beautiful as ever for a cool weather baby.
Until a couple weeks ago, when our neighbor's daughter, who is expecting,
accepted my offer of lovely outfit number one,
complete with blanket and hat,
(which I still didn't really want to give away - selfish!)
and is bringing her sweet new baby daughter home from the hospital in it!
Awwww.
Now I'm glad it's not in my closet, unused, ignored, but rather off to fulfill it's destiny
of frustrating another new parent when she goes to change baby's diaper.
But baby will look terrific while she does it.

And the circle of life continues.

{5}

I'm considering a writing opportunity that pays actual money.
This would require doing something akin to work,
and syntax, both of which make me a little prickly.
We'll see.

{6}

I can't stop eating my kids Halloween candy.
What is it about Swedish fish
and fun size peanut butter cups
that is so irresistible?

{7}

I am beginning to post to Etsy.

Finally.

Once I have everything up and go live, I'll let you know!

In the meantime, may God richly bless you, my beloved. Peace.

Today is the day.

2010-11-02T09:04:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure how different our political landscape might look after today. I'm more and more convinced that we have but one party with a common ideology.

I think it should be called The Sinking the Ship on Purpose Party.

Or maybe the I Beat My Head Against the Wall Because it Feels Better When I Stop Party.

But today, don't let my cynicism, or your busy schedule, interfere with the thing that can affect real change:

GO. VOTE.

And then go buy yourself a coffee or a lemonade or a slice of cake or a diamond bracelet.

It's a free country.

Swiper, no swiping!

2010-11-01T18:38:00.004-05:00

Is that a copyrighted statement/sentence/quote?

Well, I hope I can cover it with "Dora the Explorer, every damnable episode that was ever aired".

It's ironical, but the reason I'm quoting the inimitable Swiper the Fox is to bring you a lovely video, that as far as I know has nothing to do with Nickelodeon, but that I learned of from another writer.....

........... and I use the words "another writer" loosely.

She's an actual writer.

Anyway, I bummed this from her.

She has nuh idiuh huh I am, so if you attempt to tell on me, she'll likely ignore you.

I appreciate that, as it pretty much sums up my parenting strategy.

Anyway, here's the video...it's sweet and informative, and answered some of my questions. If you have similar questions, I hope yours are answered, too.

If not, keep on asking. And remember, complain up! Middle management cannot always hear you. Peace out.

Thirty days hath November...

2010-11-01T08:40:00.004-05:00

What!?!

It's November?

What happened to, say, August?

It's warm here, and will be
except for the very occasional
"cold front".

Meaning that it won't get up to 85 before 10 a.m.

But summer is finally faded and gone.

And tomorrow, I suppose, is Christmas?

So much to be thankful for......

EXTREME birthday cake (7 different layers)

fun and caring neighbors

family visits

a day at home with my daughter

Grandparents entertaining and gushing over other daughter

Son in school, and thriving

Husband in work, and thriving

the first real autumn chill

just the right blanket

just the right color paint

a new toothbrush

the bounty of the yard....green citrus, succulents, and still-blooming bougainvillea
make a house feel alive and fresh

entertainment: grackles eating acorns - why do they just like the caps?

sweet faces and giggles and gnome costumes and too much candy

feeling just a little overwhelmed
in a good way
by the mundane
like being able to go to the grocery store
and turn on the tap

remembering the solemnity of vows
and how they've saved us more than once

The Feast of All Saints
and all the Company of Heaven

Amen.

Join in at Holy Experience to share in the gratitude.

A good read, and a good idea....

2010-10-26T07:56:00.004-05:00

Simcha Fisher of "I Have to Sit Down" is one of the voices in my head - she writes with gusto and brains about generally and marginally relevant things (I love that about her). I highly recommend her site if examining politics and goofy stuff - Government, Church, personal, and otherwise - is of interest to you.

Today Simcha wrote of UNICEF, and how it's not her charity of choice, for some pretty heavy reasons. She offered an explanation, and a terrific alternative:

"Here is our favorite charity, run by the Church with an incredibly low overhead: Save a Family Plan. Among other programs, you can choose a plan in which your family sponsors a desperate family in India, helping them to become educated and self-sufficient within a few years. Boy, they get the job done. And somehow they manage to do it without killing anyone."
Simcha Fisher

We've been thinking a lot about what our gift giving will look like this Christmas. We've committed (voluntarily, kind of) to an austerity budget with regard to "fluff". Meaning, "I bought that because I couldn't think of anything else here you go" kinds of random purchases to fill what we see as blank space under the tree. This is a huge pitfall, especially with kids, because not only is it expensive, the sheer volume of gifts and newness overwhelms even the most level-headed of children. It's unfulfilling, ultimately. And wasteful. I mean, does a family really need more than one version of Monopoly, and yet another set of Connect 4? If you do, call me, I've got plenty to share.

We managed to pare things down pretty significantly last year, and I'm holding out hope that Grandparents and aunts and uncles will take to heart our pleas for no new clutter. Our kids are old enough now to value experiences as much as belongings - every riding lesson, movie, and day at the beach is a gift, and they know this. Watching that being internalized is one of the joys of parenting, it's own gift.

And now, for the turning outward, sharing the gifts....we're making our short list this year of donations and pledges that we'll offer as we give thanks and celebrate Christ this year. I would love to know your favorite charity, why you decided the connection was there for you and your family...do tell!

The one where I bake too many cakes...UPDATED!!!

2010-10-23T07:25:00.000-05:00

Welcome to this weeks installment of

Seven Quick Takes

hosted by the gracious and inclusive Jennifer
of
Conversion Diary

Let's chat....

{1}

UPDATE

The fall festival was a blast, a huge success by all measures,
including being one of the best family birthdays I've ever had.

Today is the big day.
Not election day.
Not my birthday.
Not even triple coupon Friday.

What it is is
the most important day
in a Kindergartners school year...

The Beloved Fall Festival!

Thank goodness.
The anticipation was killing me.
One raffle ticket at a time.

As I've ~~complained about~~ confessed before
I am not the most helpful
when it comes to supporting non-academic
school activities.
I was determined to no get behind on my obligations,
and set about making the
TWELVE CAKES PER FAMILY
the Parent Torture Organization was requesting for the
Cake Walk and Sweet Shoppe Booth.

And then my husband, while reading the
~~court order~~ hand out about the cakes
began to grin like the Cheshire Cat.
"Um, Honey....this says 1 - 2 cakes per family, not 12."

dude.

That's not what I actually said.
But when I recovered my dignity and washed my mouth out with soap
(and licked the frosting spreader)
I got so excited.
See - I'm going to get credit for being an over-achiever.
I had already made four cakes.

Take that, Fall Festival.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

My concept of revenge is fairly distorted.

{2}

UPDATE

Still ticked at NPR...it's my birthday, and I'm missing Car Talk
and Prairie Home Companion.
Get right with God, NPR, would you?

aayyyyyy!

Say it ain't so, NPR!

You've jumped the shark, circled back, and jumped it again.

I watch very little television news.
It was all to head-achy for me, the razzle dazzle
the multiple crawls
the yelling.
I grew up listening to NPR, appreciating the softer approach,
and learned the ability to discern news delivery from editorialism
(both of which NPR is very good at, if one discerns).
There was no secret about their bias, and because there was no
attempt to deceive they held my attention even as I often disagreed with their angle.
I had no doubt of their organizational integrity.

And now that's not the case.
Playing fast and loose with the reputations of good people
is a tiresome political fund raising maneuver
(which apparently has paid off quite nicely for NPR).
And there's no integrity, there, because the facts cease to matter.

Juan, you deserved better.
I'm sorry, as an NPR member for twenty years, that the organization you've been a part of for
the past ten years has degenerated into a vehicle for ideology,
rather than ideas.
Unfollow, NPR, unfollow.

{3}

UPDATE

Totally blew off the garage sale - wasn't feeling it, and...
um...
forgot to put the ad in the paper.
Oh well.

photo credit liveworkdream.com

Tomorrow's my birthday!

Yea!

Guess what I'm doing?

Having a...a...a

GARAGE SALE!

(don't make fun of me people - you know who you are)

{4}

UPDATE

I'm happy to report that everyone next door seems to be
wearing pants
early and often
and I didn't hear the generator running at all.
And I'm taking them one of the too many cakes.

the kitchen at Grey Gardens, pre-reno

There is a house next door to us that was part of an estate waiting to be settled.
It has now sold, and the stuff inside, down to the studs, is being removed
for renovation.

Here's the thing - the crew who is working on the house is - well - rough.

They seem to be sleeping, alternately,
in their truck and the house
running their very loud generator to keep a light going.
I cannot let myself think what they're doing for plumbing.

I am having a hard time deciding what to do.
I feel I should do something about them...
as in, I don't really want to listen to their generator run
into the night or have my children see what I did
(they thought no one was looking)
when they streaked back and forth a couple of times from truck to house
since I guess their clothes were not where their nekkid bodies were.

I also feel I should do something for them.
There they are, the people we hear about all the time:
poor, transient, working.
I don't want them to get into trouble with our other neighbors.
Don't misunderstand, our neighbors are delightful people,
who have welcomed us with open doors
and kind hearts,
but I can tell you right now they ain't puttin' up with no nekkidness
or carryin' on.

What would you do, friends?
My sense is that doing nothing is exactly what our Enemy would prefer.

{5}

UPDATE

Got home from the FF last night to find Miss Wonderful
asleep on my couch.
Two demerits.

My wonderful dog continues to be wonderful
She is like 750 years old,
hard of hearing, and her vision is waning, daily it seems,
but she is increasingly charming
as she ages.
She no longer wastes her energy on fighting me during bath time.
She wags her tail at me when I wave at her.

I don't think she's much in the way of security anymore.
Unless perhaps she could be considered a speed bump
should someone attempt to come through the front door in a hurry.
But I feel better because she's here.
I hope that's how I make someone feel when I'm old and of little use.
Just present, and in love with them.

{6}

UPDATE
Status unchanged.

I am so ready for the Holidays.

This is a poll, not a statement of my personal reality.

How ready are you?

{7}

UPDATE

As it turns out, funnel cake was NOT all...
snow cone, chalupa, bbq beef sandwich, bbq frito pie, roasted corn, popped corn
shrimp kbob, fudge, falafel..I had some of each one. And that was still not all.

Funnel Cake!
that is all.

Happy Weekend, and may God richly bless you, my beloved!

Friday, finally!

2010-10-15T07:52:00.006-05:00

This is one of those weeks that seems never-ending.
Or more like
one week is running into another.
It seems to be
the way October rolls.

But here we are...
WEEKEND!
And the weather here in South Texas
is making an attempt
at Fall.

Join in with Jennifer
at
Conversion Diary
for
Seven Quick Takes

...quickly!

{1}

I really need to be a better participant
in my son's school activities.
Our girls are home schooled
so that seems like one never ending activity.
The nice room mothers just looked at me funny
when I declined signing up for the
Kindergarten booth
at the Fall Carnival
with the excuse
"no, we home school"....
uh-huh, right, slacker-lady,
and we're part time outer-galactical astronauts.
I've been marked for destruction, I'm certain of it.

{2}

I am struggling with a decision
about a sofa.
I might have one too many.
Or not.
I don't want to sell it!
It is my dream sofa
the perfect line, color, cushion, size.
It accommodates my irrational need for
multiple pillows
made from multiple moth-eaten textiles.
And I can arrange them just so
to read the fourteen books I seem to have going just now.
But where it sits now it is unused,
and actually a bit annoying consider how
it is situated in the room
which is the only way it will fit.
I have only ever regretted selling one thing
it the ongoing furniture exchange that is my life.
I was a sofa, that I've been seeking the
perfect replacement for
lo these nearly 15 years.
I keep telling myself it's furniture
it only has so many moves in it before it starts breaking down
and sure don't want to pay more than it's worth to store it.
Although it's a nicer sofa than I might entertain replacing
later on down the line.
I dunno....

{3}

I read this and cried.

And this, and hoped.

And this, and began to think.

And now I'm going to sell the sofa.

{4}

I am NOT a morning person. Today.
Sorry, husband.
Sorry, children.
Sorry, dog.

{5}

I am craving really good Mexican food.
The cool weather does it every time.
Somehow, I don't think the Chicken Enchilada soup
that's been sitting in my pantry for a month or six
is going to cut it.
Maybe I can make a decent soup that won't blow
(the budget or the diet, that is).

{6}

To the too-loud Sun Chips bag,
I say good riddance.
And take your yukky chips with you.

Kettle.
Then, now, always.

{7}

I have been painting my kitchen for what seems like an eternity.
I am going to stay up all night if I have to,
but this is the day it gets finished.
Today, you hear me?
We're hosting a neighborhood dinner on the 30th,
so there's gonna be a lot of stay up all night
in my future.
But then....
IT WILL BE DONE!
So.worth.it.

What's up with you, friends?

May God richly bless you, my beloved!

Amen.
+

Chivalry is not dead.

2010-10-12T09:10:00.000-05:00

While apparently my housekeeper is.

But the joke's on me.

I ain't got no housekeeper.

I got I.

And all that is implied by hiring I as a housekeeper.

It is a self-contradicting philosophy.

I cannot recommend my housekeeper at this time.

Which is why you'll understand I didn't have a clean step-out mat when I showered earlier.

So my husband, my knight in plaid lounge pants, proffered his cloak with which to cover the puddle in my path.

Who do I have to marry to get the dog hair and baby powder swept up around here?

Judge not.

I don't know what will happen if you do - I might offer you my housekeeping services.

Hell hath no fury.....

Happy Tuesday, people.

Tuesdays child, for Monday

2010-10-04T08:18:00.006-05:00

This is essentially a blog post about a blog post.

I read this and it made me sad. And it made me wince.

Because I might be one of those people.

I don't know the nice gal who writes this blog, I've only read it a couple of times. But my heart broke as I read her experience of rejection by people who had made it clear that she was an interruption. That her life or death crisis was less important than their existing plans. She reached out, the way it's suggested we do - let someone know our need, help is usually there for the asking, folks just don't know - except it wasn't. In multitudes, among a Christian group of friends and acquaintances, it wasn't. The excuses, the justifications, the lame "sorry, but..." in the face of real need are invitations to bitterness that are difficult to refuse.

Two wounds were opened in those single actions - the very real need went unmet, and the knife of irrelevance - of being irrelevant to one's community - stabbed an already aching heart.
And to twist the dagger a bit more, a couple of the comments following her post about the whole thing were so odd - essentially "you made your bed, you lie in it".

And it occurs to me that I might be one of those people who would think such a thing.

It's a sickness, I think, this void where Grace should live. I certainly suffer from a chronic case of it. Cynicism and business and pretending to work harder than I really am just so people will leave me the Hell alone. And then I might have the nerve to act surprised when they do just that, permanently. I might be one of those people.

I've reached out for legitimate help and have been rejected with casual annoyance, and I've done the rejecting, too - there's no lower mutual moment in humanity, in my estimation. It's about the most sorrowful experience a person can go through. It causes us to question our worth, our relationships, and our understandings of both. It makes us feel self-conscious in our need, and wonder if we have overestimated the depths of our friendships.

Of late, it's become an art form for some to make the asker feel guilty for having put us on the spot, for interfering in our comfort zones. We want to live lives based on earning partial credit - I offer, you give me credit. I don't actually DO, mind you - it was the thought that counted, yes? Shame on you if you make me feel badly for not really meaning anything by it. Let's not even discuss reciprocation. Gosh, I would have never asked to borrow your garden hose/watch my kids while I went to the movies/use your pool as if it was my own if I thought I was going to owe you something like helping you when your child might be dying. The nerve of some people....so needy, so many expectations. I've got a schedule to keep.

All's well that ends well, the family is weathering their storm, their baby girl healed. But what of their hearts? What of their sense of community and friendship? What will that recovery look like?

I pray for them it will be full of Grace. I pray that they will not dismiss friends on the basis of one inconsiderate act or selfish motive or just plain not getting it. I pray that the light they share when they talk of their daughter's ongoing good health will be infectious, taking the place of the old sickness in so many hearts. I pray their circle of friends and acquaintances will serve them better.

Because I might be one of those people, I'll pray for Grace, and the better portion. I'll pray I won't be rejected, for forbearance if I am, and that I'll be asked to help someone who needs me if I can't spot the need first.

On behalf of all of us who need it, I'll pray to be full of Grace.

***DO I REALLY NEED TO MAKE THE DISCLAIMERS ABOUT TOTALLY DISAVOWING ALL PEOPLE WHO DO HARM TO CHILDREN AND ANIMALS AND THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ENABLING AND HELPING? I will, but I really don't want to. I hope it goes without saying.

Friday Fixation.....in 7 quick takes

2010-09-24T09:49:00.005-05:00

I've gotten to where I really look forward to
Seven Quick Takes
hosted by the lovely Jennifer
at
Conversion Diary.

I need the distraction from my current obsession:

~~BEING EXTREMELY CHEAP~~

CONSCIENTIOUS FRUGAL LIVING

I'll spare you the gruesome details,
the headaches,
the frustration,
the piles of wrinkled coupons
and wrinkled laundry
that have made up
this very strange week.

Listen for me will you,
when I'm sending
muffled cries for help
and need your concerned intervention.

Thank you very much.

Now here's what's up:

{1}

I haven't posted, or even written
a thing
except for a few comments about
pants
and
house paint
all week long
because I have become hell bent on
saving some serious money.
I feel like I'm single-handedly
bankrolling my grocery store.
And I don't even have a good grocery store
in my area
so it's doubly frustrating.

{2}

I'm committed to stretching our dollars
not only for our own benefit
but in effort to be able to give more to others.
I was inspired by the many
Mommy bloggers
(isn't that term every so slightly pejorative?)
who can feed their much larger families
high quality foods
for a fraction of what I spend
and to top it off
they give away as much as they consume
and then some.
And because they have saved so much cash
they have more of that to give, too.
It's all very impressive to me.

{3}

I'm conflicted about kids clothes.
As in how much to spend, and where best acquired.
They all seem expensive
relative to quality.
I sew, but pretty much only in straight lines,
I top stitch everything
because I thought I was too cool
to learn to stitch a hem properly.
I was wrong,
just like I was wrong to not learn
to play the piano.
Hem stitching and piano playing
are both skills worth obtaining.

{4}

Does anyone have an idea for the best way
to keep coupons?
The blogosphere consensus seems to be
a binder but
do you have any other suggestions?

{5}

I am enjoying having only one car.
We all ride around together, we visit,
we practice not hitting each other, not looking
at each other, and the silent game.
I have no idea what goes on in the back.

Don't tell my husband.
He is chomping at the bit
to get a second vehicle.
To be fair, he does virtually all of our
car repairs, including the big stuff,
so I don't want to discount the fact that
with our current very nice but much used car
he essentially has a part-time job
on Saturday mornings
keeping it together.
but...
I have really enjoyed renting a shiny new one
for the couple of road trips we've taken.
And we've agreed that we won't take on a
payment, so that does limit our
options to what we can pay cash for.
I wonder if I could convince him to
sell our current car, put it with our savings
and upgrade to one really nice ride.
Has anyone done this successfully, recently, and for how long
with how many kids?

{6}

In my feeble initial attempts
to use coupons and sales and
superdeluxedoublesecretsavingsbonusawards
I'm pretty much hooked.
I should clarify that I've always used the occasional coupon
and am pretty price savvy
and don't care much for most of what coupons are
attached to
and I am simultaneously trying to simplify things around here
but
there's good stuff to be had
for next to nothing
and orchestrated with some thought
it's not the befuddling mess I always assumed it was.
I think it helps, as with most efforts, to have a purpose behind it.
I'll take it.

{7}
I do not believe
it is Autumn.
Not for one single minute.

Happy Weekend!

And may God richly bless you
My beloved.

Amen.

7 Home School-y Things

2010-09-17T08:21:00.004-05:00

Happy Weekend!

Here were are again.
It's Friday.
Join up for
7 Quick Takes
with
Jennifer
at
Conversion Diary

What's up with you?

Farmers market this weekend?
Shoe shining?
Yard work?

Navel gazing?

This week I have a theme:
Home School: Our Experience
not to be confused with doing it correctly

{1}

While a rigid, set in stone schedule can be counterproductive,
it's imperative to establish a routine.
When I the children know what to
expect, things go much more better.

{2}

There is no perfect method of home schooling.
Only the right way for a given family.
Do not be sold on a curriculum until you have
exhausted as many free resources as possible,
and preferably have home schooled for an entire year.
One size does not fit all, nor should it.
It's one reason we pursue this, yes?

{3}

Four year olds do not need to know anything.
It's very dangerous, if you value your sanity.

{4}

You don't need to feel defensive about home schooling.
It doesn't hurt, however, to have a response lined up for
the occasional curious inquiry
or condescending snipe by a family member

Be confident in your decision to academically
educate your children.
It matters not that you have no
"teacher training".
They were entrusted to your care
when they were two days old
and you had no medical training
and yet you managed to keep them alive
for all this time.
I think you can handle 4th grade math.
Amen.

{5}

Read. Read. And Read some more.
Join a book club.
Get a library card.
Read, and read and read.
Internalize this habit.
Then find a math program that
supports this methodology.
And practice, practice, and practice some more.
Internalize this habit.
Establishing a child's confidence in the ability to
seek and find information
is what learning is.
The "math gap" as I see it
has a lot to do with not having as much
awareness of how much we actually
do use
"all that stuff"
in our daily lives.
Wanna know why works from the Byzantine
present floating rather than
grounded figures?
You need some math with that art.
Connections. Relationships. Practice making them.
Understanding plane is marginally interesting.
Recognizing the application of plane is
LIBERATING.

{6}

Don't over plan the field trip thing.
It always sounds good, but it's exhausting,
and expensive,
and can derail a weeks plan
if it goes badly.

Once a month is plenty for a special outing.

Daily walks
and the local library
should offer a nice weekly
air conditioned
change of pace.

{7}

Don't keep all their school work.
We home school moms are as prone to this as
regular school moms.
Sometimes worse, because feel we may or may not
have to prove
at any given moment
that our children are actually
"doing school".
We do all of our work in self contained
notebooks, so it helps.
I only keep what's
reflective of benchmarks.
Writing samples, the highest level of math work,
etc.
Everything else is clutter, and adds to the
housework blues that haunts so many
home school rooms
or entire houses.

Enjoy your school, however you choose to learn!
Pray hard, people.

I can't think of anything to write....

2010-09-16T10:13:00.001-05:00

to Karl....SHUT.UP.

to Charles.....don't make me regret loving you.

to everybody else.....how the heck are ya?

Close, yet.

2010-09-10T22:37:00.000-05:00

I forget until the very day of the gruesome anniversary how much grief I still harbour over the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks.

It lingers in my mind, throughout the year, as politics and platitudes are sung as solutions to the root of the recent ancient trouble that brought about such a horrifying event.

I forget a war was here. I forget some say it hovers close again.

I forget a war remains in places where children the age of my own have never know anything else. Some of them will be old enough to pick which "side" they're with before it's all over.

I forget much is left tangled and dangerously undone, like live power lines downed in a storm.

I forget God's children, who live in this war - their mothers - don't have the luxury of "breast is best v. formula's fine" or "should we home school?" or "what's for dinner?".

I forget how many of God's children - their mothers - don't have the luxury of "when's Daddy coming home?"

Mostly I forget.

And then in the early hours of that day, on the way to work or the grocery store or the garage sale, is The Flag.

It sneaks up on me, and it takes me a second to remember why it flies low. And my throat can't take it and my eyes are cloudy and my heart swells and aches and pray it won't shrink, because wouldn't that be the damnedest outcome of all this, that a person who knows better becomes small? There is no strength in that, now when strength is needed most.

And I am overwhelmingly sad, and helpless in the vastness of it all. So I'll finish what I'm supposed to do, for today, and pray. For all of us, but especially me - that I might find my part, do my part, in the peace that eludes.

I pray to fully remember, and fully forgive.

Better a late seven than no seven at all?

2010-09-10T17:46:00.006-05:00

Today seemed lllllooooooooooooooooooooooong. and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhot.

and I have nothing much to report.

But I'm going to anyway.

Thanks again to Jennifer at Conversion Diary for hosting
7 Quick Takes

{1}

This morning I went to the dentist. I love going. I don't have terrific skin and my once glorious hair has conspired with hard water to betray me in middle age, but I am blessed with good teeth. Not perfect, but straight, white, shiny. One thing I notice as I get older is how much not caring for my teeth ages my appearance. I'm a coffee drinker and red wine is my poison, so I try to be diligent about the cleaning and brightening. Sorry to blather on about my personal appearance, but it is such a gift to live in a place and time where I can just pick up the phone, make an appointment, and have a medical professional tend to my well being. It's not like that everywhere or for everyone, sadly. I am privileged, and I am grateful.

{2}

I started painting my kitchen. And I like it. Pictures, hopefully, by the end of the weekend.
Lard, give me some strinth.

{3}

So far, my child loves Kindergarten. Of course he's been late 3 of the 4 days, and has no intention (he thinks) of doing his homework assignment, but his new friends "the guy with the Transformer band-aid on his forehead" and "the other guy whose Dad wears a baseball cap" apparently make it all worth it.
Next week: names.

He can, and does without prompting, name his spectacularly beautiful teacher and half the girls in the class.

{4}

Our church shopping continues this Sunday. We're trying on a Roman Catholic outfit this time.

{5}

Peanut butter is taking over my life. I don't even eat the stuff except via cookie, and it's everywhere. I had some under my nails, on my purse, all over the bathroom sink. Stop it.

{6}

I'm not ready for some football. I love college sports, but people, South Texas is masquerading as the Sahara. Stop it.
(the real) Friday Night Lights needs to be put on hiatus until it's not 450 F.

{7}

It looks to be a lovely weekend. Again, I am privileged, and I am grateful.

Peace be with you.

And also with me.

Amen.

Seven things....

2010-09-03T08:48:00.004-05:00

Well, lucky for me, there are people who manage to do a link around/gather up on a regular basis so it appears I've posted something new and original from time to time. Yay! I so appreciate that.

I'm begging for structure, no?

So, here goes - join in with Jennifer at Conversion Diary for good reading in general, or on Friday's for your Seven Quick Takes....Happy Weekend!

{1}

My boy, my baby, starts Kindergarten on Tuesday. He's about to crawl out of his skin with anticipation, and I hope he's not disappointed. We are avid home schoolers, and I was hesitant to send him, but he's in a school that mirrors our values and academic standards (frankly I think five is a little young for academic standards, but that's another conversation), and he asked to go. With a little indulgence from his Grandparents, he's on his way. I heart him. I'm going to miss him and his incessant chattering, but I'm thinking a little pier pressure might work to my advantage on that front.

{2}

I had THE WORST dream last night. I can't even repeat the details it was so bad. Being disturbed in that way is not conducive to falling back to sleep, so I started flipping through a pile of neglected magazines. Now the only nightmare, other than the state of my living room, are the bags under my eyes.

{3}

Painting FAIL.
About the time I had decided on the new Martha Stewart color "Sharkey Grey" for the entire common area of our house, I froze. This doesn't happen to me. I choose, I paint, if I don't like, I repaint. This is becoming a pattern, and I don't much cotton to it. I guess I'm feeling a little more of the wasted time and energy factor as I get older. If I'm going to the trouble and expense, I'd like to love it the first time. Or is that just laziness and being out of practice? I'll let you know the result of that non-poll next week.

{4}

Is there a "best" otc hair color out there?

{5}

I get to visit with two - count them TWO - adult grown up female long time friends this weekend and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm concerned it might be an hysterical mirage because it's so unlikely an occurrence. Pinch me.

{6}

I've been reading some things lately that are very much outside my element. I'm attracted to them in a way I can't describe. They're not always that fulfilling, because frankly they're over my head, but as I read them more they become less so, if that makes sense. Kind of like cross word puzzles for the addle-brained home schooling housewife. I feel the rusty wheels a'turnin.

{7}

With my husbands approval, I have a big fat crush on Robert Duvall.
I just felt the need to put that out there.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
be careful one and all
if you're on the road
this weekend.

May God richly bless you, My Beloved.

Amen.

Monday, again

2010-08-30T07:44:00.007-05:00

I had a deliciously ordinary weekend.

I cleaned out part of the garage.

That activity and my declaration of it are in need of dissection because I don't do much of anything part-way. I'm either in or I'm out, it's an A or an F, or I start and then bail (yes, I meant to write bail, not fail, that's too much for me to accept right now).

Part a) I cleaned. This is not my strong suit. I usually plan for a lengthy bout of procrastination before I start complaining that all the stuff that's piled up/stuck on/flowing over during my procrastination party is just too much and I'll need to hire someone to do it for me. Or beg my husband do it. But he's taken to working, like, all day every day so I can't ~~abuse~~ lean on him the way I once did.

So I did it. I saw something that needing doing and did it right then.

Part b) I cleaned part of something. I don't do "part". It's either perfect, or perfectly horrifying, my household.

....but here was my - dare I say - logic:

It continues to be in the high 90's here, daily, and with the humidity the heat factor comes in right around 105F.

Where the !@#$%$# are those ocean breezes I keep hearing about? Not here, friends, not this summer.

So, I knew working past mid-morning would be a recipe for disaster, and possibly heat related death, so I figured I'd give it two hours. And then I did. And my husband helped, sweetly and gladly because I didn't have "that look" on my face (whole other post).

And for my trouble, we have a significantly improved state of affairs in the garage, lots of stuff thrown out and lots on it's way to the Boy Scout garage sale fundraiser drive, and as a bonus, I'm pretty sure I burned 14,000 calories. Yippeee!

So, as ordinary as it was, I had a pretty terrific weekend, for which I am most grateful. What were you up to? Was it ordinary, or special, or both?

See Holy Experience, for the Multitude of Gratitude, the adding up of the irreplaceable ordinary.

...as for me, this week:

.....hand me down school uniforms

.....the promise that only fresh school supplies can offer

.....quiet foxes sneaking bananas in the dark early morning

.....not being out of something that I thought I was (sometimes that is the best feeling)

.....a neighbor friend recovering well from surgery

.....meeting a little girl who's life was warned against, and the blessing of ignored warnings

.....the 100th birthday of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, and the celebration of a life well lived

.....a sweet friend who ministers hope despite her own suffering during a dark season

.....really good work to do, and the spirit to do it

.....learning about something new, that I never thought I was interested it, partly because I never learned anything about it, so how would I know whether or not I was interested?...hmmm.

.....the liberty to express the thought "why not?" when it comes to managing my own destiny

Happy Monday, dear ones.

Saturday Short

2010-08-28T13:37:00.002-05:00

Krauthammer rawks.

That is all.

Happy Weeeeeeeekend, beloved.

(h/t to The Anchoress, who has become my favorite source next to Drudge - for news, that is)

because it's always a good day to be grateful....

2010-08-23T09:01:00.004-05:00

I'm a huge fan of Mondays. Really. Because I'm totally into do-overs and fresh starts and opportunity to get it right, and for some reason Monday works better for my brain than say, Thursday.

Nothing against Thursday, it's just that it's leaning into the weekend a bit. Monday is more of my mental reset button, and tends to set the tone for the week. If I can keep hold of some structure on Monday, I don't feel so befuddled by scheduling the rest of the week.

How about you? What's your "good day"?

Since it's Monday, and since I remembered, I'm doing my list (yea, lists!) of small huge things I have to be grateful for along with other friends at Holy Experience. Whether you list or not, it's a sweet read. Happy Monday.....

.....air conditioning. Yes, I said it.

.....a funny brother who is my own exercise in acceptance. I keep thinking he needs to be more accepting of me as I am, turns out it's the other way around

.....good books to read and unlimited access to them

.....fruit trees in my yard that survive in spite of me and the heat

.....a husband who forgives, in multitudes

.....imaginative, sincere, seeking children

.....sweet neighbors who care about us

.....the anticipation of a little holiday with family

.....counting a friend of twenty years as a friend for twenty-one

.....letting some things pass, noticed but not bothered

.....these girls

.....encouragement received long ago, that still carries me in times of self-doubt

.....the little sting of memory that reminds me to NOT give in to a self-destructive nature

Seven things....

2010-08-20T07:49:00.007-05:00

Okay, I'm horrible at blog participation link-up dealies, because the pressure freaks me out and it seems like I should include photos and my camera is never charged OR I can't find the cord thing to download them to the computer OR I don't feel like messing w/editing OR .....well, you get the picture.

Ahem.

So I'm just jumping in with what I've got, which are exactly seven random thoughts.
And pray I can remember how to link.

(this is how my brain works, so I really appreciate Jennifer at Conversion Diary for allowing me to feel wanted and accepted for the spaz I am. Amen)

{1}

I've got to get my kid enrolled in Kindergarten. The one I want him to go to has already started,but I wasn't planning on sending him until after Labor Day.
Will it scar him irreparably that he's missed the first month of the rest of his life?

{2}

I'm having a design crisis that has me stalled out in my kids bathroom.
It's annoying to the point that I've stalled out in all other matters as well.
It's a good thing procrastination isn't a deadly sin, because I'd have been rejoicing in the company of Heaven long ago
And then I looked up the rather expansive definition of acedia and maybe I really need to get busy.

{3}

I've given myself a goal of being cardboard free by the end of the month.
Looking at the wall of boxes is harshing my vibe, not to mention the boxes themselves are looking a little wilted, like the whole thing might come crashing down at any moment.
ahh, love that coastal humidity.....

{4}

I've given myself a deadline (there's that word again) of having production underway by September 1st, and goods prepared to present by September 10th, which means I'm finally ending the year and a half long hiatus of my work life.
I feel like I'M the one going back to school - only my supplies are better.

{5}

We have fun plans for Labor Day.
I don't know why this seems so novel, but we've been living in kind of a blur for the last several months and just haven't been particularly social.
I'll get to visit some some old friends who's children I've never met, see my BFF's new house, go to a real party with real adult humans, eat birthday cake, and go to COSTCO!

{6}

I miss Costco. I miss Austin, too, but really, I miss Costco.
Calamata olives, manchego, my favorite coffee beans
all come from Costco.

{7}

I don't think it's an accident
at all
that I live in a town called Corpus Christi.
My husband and I talked for a long time last night about how it's the first move we've made
that felt important for a bigger reason than lifestyle.
I love that feeling.

Happy Weekend Everybody!

Join in the Quick Takes fun here - no camera cord required!

Greatness in small things - or - painting cabinets prelude

2010-08-15T08:52:00.000-05:00

photo by Getty Images

Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. -- Martin Luther King Jr.

I love this quote, because I think it's a promise, a proverb.

Just go, and do, as you are.

Isn't that what Christ said? I'll meet you there, wherever it is? I'll redeem/sanctify/glorify your efforts, even in the little things, it all matters to me, it all adds up, service between you.

Hopefully yours, in service, bad grammar, and painting projects.

Blessed Sunday, and my God richly bless you, my beloved.

Amen...and again I say: "Amen".

Just a thought....

2010-08-09T10:33:00.005-05:00

I'm not Catholic, though our family is on a bit of a faith journey - or "church shopping" as my husband so romantically tags it. That said, I think the word "Christian" could be substituted for the word "Catholic" in this analysis of and the spirit would be the same.

And to be clear, this in no way is meant to infer any sort of tolerance or excuse of the recent behavior of Mel Gibson. Oh, that he could just go back to making good movies and being handsome (and married to his first wife and loving all those kids and not calling people names and - sorry, I'm back now).

(Found via The Anchoress, who does a terrific job rounding up religious and culturally relevant news and other tidbits.)

Discuss.

On becoming a doer....

2010-07-25T23:49:00.003-05:00

....did I just write that, as if I had some insight on the matter?.....

Maybe. Maybe.

I've been reading A LOT. Like for hours a day. And the subject matter has been diverse - the Bible, an analysis of the Great Depression, magazines, magazines, magazines....

...and blogs.

Oh, the diversity of blogs. I admire so many writers - a virtual bookshelf of countless self-published authors, many of whom are exponentially better and have more relevant to say than much of what gets released in print today, all just a click away. So much to take in, consider, enjoy, commiserate with....a day or a week - or a lifetime - could be whiled away glimpsing into one world or another.

All this could be good - there's much to learn, even real friendships to be gained. In a culture and climate where transience is frequent, necessary even, the constant connection can be stabilizing and reassuring.

The trouble is, as I see it and have experienced it lately, is in the neglect of the doing.

For example, I love several design blogs and visit them at least weekly, but all the good design ideas in the world aren't going to get me any closer to priming and painting my bathroom cabinets.

Delving into history and philosophy will supply me to view the world objectively, understand the machinations of politics, and make me an interesting guest at a dinner party, but will not fold my laundry or put it away (which is a problem, because I would have nothing to wear to a dinner party).

Conversion stories and exegetical discussions will delight my heart and enrich my knowledge, but they can't substitute for my own time in prayer, teaching my children the Word, or prepare my home for hospitality.

I love to read. I don't mind being labeled a reader. I love to write, I hope to one day be labeled an author. What label I don't want to carry is one of being only an observer, stung by covetousness and longing to the point of numbness.

I also do not mind - actually, I am humbled to claim - the label of Christian. Only now, it's clear to me that it isn't just a noun, it's a verb. To do Christianity, to be "a doer of the word" as James so brilliantly explains, is fundamental to the practice of Christianity, the practice of being like Christ. It's going to take me a lot of practice. I need to get busy doing it.
In this, I have to expand beyond do less/be more...I need to be a doer, in order to be who I want to.

I just like white....

2010-07-24T00:53:00.004-05:00

"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself. "
— Isak Dinesen

So, instead of doing what I'm supposed to, I'm staying up late drinking diet ginger ale (can you say heartburn?) and messing around with blogger templates and quotes from dead authors.

For a long while now, my little header photo has been the detail of cracking layers of paint on cracking 150 year old 12 foot tall louvered shutters from New Orleans. I love that photo, I love those shutters (they're currently being embraced by clamps in my garage) - I counted no fewer than eight shades of faded green paint, primed with nothing but the last coat, some nearly blue, some on the way to emerald, all faded and lovely,

They ain't goin' nowheres, irregardless.

I find myself, however, at a crossroads of sorts. One where I feel a deep need to offload lots of baggage, physical and otherwise, and I need white and light so I can see some new details, different subjects.

I found two quotes from Isak Dinesen helpful and endearing, which while I love and admire her work, are not the words that would have been used to describe her as I understand.

I love being surprised by that.

One verse becomes the new description for the current season of writing about life, another a reminder that consistency is to progress.

Sleep, now. Dreaming of progress. Amen.

Dead line....(two words intentionally)

2010-07-22T11:41:00.003-05:00

I don't even know if that makes sense, but I mean to put an emphasis on dead. In reference to my brain, and my motivation.

I don't intend to be overly dramatic, but I am not feeling decorate-y or unpack-y. I have felt cook-ish, so that's good, but Good Lard, unless cardboard is the new decorative trend for fall, I'm in trouble, people.

Enter my in-loves (laws, for those of you less fortunate). My husbands folks are really my family, not perfect, we bump into each other often enough, but we're solid. But I'll be danged if they have just about the worst sense of timing in Creation.

They're coming here. In like 10 days. To lay eyes on what is supposed to be a really cute house and to lay smooches on their grandchildren. I'm hoping they won't lay eyes on the chaos around here and lay a phone call on social services (and not for the children's lack of care, but for what will surely be seen as my need for a "little break", since I already seem to be taking one from reality of my own volition - you'll just have to trust me, this is how they think. They see disorganization as a degenerate behavior, and possible requiring in-patient treatment).

I shouldn't be so negative - I need to get this done. I say need, because I think I might be lying if I said I WANT to get it done. Yes, I want it done, but I really want for someone else to do it, exactly like I want it, no arguments, no second-guesses. And the need isn't just for the obvious reasons, I'm like a year behind on planned projects for work that I will now have to revisit and restyle and pray anyone might still be interested in the stuff I think of.

I have been praying for opportunities to receive others in our home. We have been blessed with such thoughtful neighbors - in the short time we've been here, they've brought meals and cookies for the kids, they've appropriately interviewed us to find out if we're wackjobs and spread the news that no, not entirely, but maybe a little wackjob, an acceptable amount, and the general welcome that one can cynically come to believe is a thing of the past, or perhaps never existed at all. I figure I need to carry the torch, it's meant so much to me.

So, back to my in-loves. I can't tell them not to come - not that I would anyway, but especially since they've been so kind as to allow us use of one of their cars for the last month. They're likely wanting it back (that reminds me - add "detail MIL's car" to the list). I want the house to look nice, be welcoming, smell like cookies, you know - be hospitable.

There it is. There's nothing anyone can do about it but me. When I put it all on paper (screen?) I feel some stirring of conviction coming on.

But you'll let me know, right, if you spot cardboard boxes, say, replacing flower pots in a fireplace, or being used as porch furniture, or the hot new thing in end tables, yes? Hello?

A very long, short year.

2010-07-14T13:37:00.003-05:00

A year ago today, my Mother died.

That's still such a strange sentence to write or to speak. I think because it isn't just a fact, it changed who I am.

I became a motherless child one year ago.

There have been two moves to two different cities, homeschooling, job changes - all of that and the beautiful tedium that makes up a rewarding life, the everyday that offers opportunity to enjoy grace, to share grace.

I am still in shock, although it's waning. I have not grieved this loss. It's not close, either. Glimpses, sure, but not the full ride.

Isn't that a strange thing to know? That grief is out there, but a good ways off?

I'm a big believer in being still and letting the inevitable wash over. It's faster, more efficient, healthier, usually. Wasting energy on fighting is usually only that - waste.

I also don't believe in dragging people to things. It's a control mechanism some folks use to delude themselves that resolution can be achieved by their sheer will for it to be so. (c'mere - ssh, in case she's listening...my Mom did that, early and often....SEE ALSO: how to create a strong willed self destructive child and drive yourself crazy with it ).

Our relationship was not a usual one, Mother's and mine, so I suppose it stands to reason that this process won't be either.

One thing that I think I've been afforded in this situation is peace. Peace for her and for me.

She didn't want to die, but she did so quickly and on her own terms. In spite of being told she might wither and suffer she did not. The abruptness is a bit haunting, still, part of the reason for the shock I think, but really, even though I feel creepy saying it, it's as if she decided that lingering was not part of the life she so enjoyed. Her prayers for not suffering were answered in the affirmative - she traveled quickly, and within 10 days of her terminal diagnosis stepped right out of the dimming of her human day and on into God's glory. I love that she seemed to drag HERSELF to that, to what she wanted, how she wanted it.

And peace that she's waiting for me to come to terms, only this time on MY terms, in my time, as I'm ready and come around to it. For the first time, I feel she's waiting for me. And not because she has no choice, but because she dwells now with the Master and Maker of that particular art of parenting.

That I will be such a parent.

Amen.

No nukes.

2010-07-11T20:34:00.002-05:00

This house - the one we've moved into this week - has tha' bomb (and I mean that in a good way) 1940's - or is it 1490's? - O'Keefe & Merritt stove.

With six burners, the griddle, and the Grillevator feature, including the Speedray burner. Which means I can broil an amazing ribeye, or make broiled cinnamon toast like nobody's beeswax. Tha'bomb, I tell ya.

What it ain't got - what I ain't got - is a microwave.

I have not lived without a microwave since I was 13 years old.

And my house had to be flooded in order for some fabulous charity group to decide we (my family and I) needed a microwave.

Up to that point, late seventies/early eighties, most families had a microwave, but we - my mom that is - we were old school.

We melted chocolate on a double boiler.

We popped popcorn in a Dutch oven.

We made wallpaper paste - or was that oatmeal? - in a pot over the gas flame.

We heated up leftovers in the regular old, slow, this-is-taking-forever-I'm-gonna-die-of-starvation-this-is-child-abuse-stupidhead oven.

(note: it wasn't a Puritan notion of Mother's to do things the old fashioned way, rather, the house we lived in while lovely and of historic significance had 1490's wiring that could not support both the burning of lightbulbs and the running of my newfangled curling iron without flipping a breaker. A microwave would have likely shorted out the entire LBJ era power grid in our neighborhood.)

So - I know how to live with and without a microwave. And I'm tempted to go without, just to prove to myself that I've not passed the point of no return. A personal challenge, sure, but also, I'm not certain the LBJ era grid of my current neighborhood is any better equipped to handle the load.

How long do you think I can make it?

How long do you think YOU could make it with the ubiquitous usurper of slow cooking?

I swear I'll quit tomorrow - this is my last one....

2010-07-08T08:52:00.007-05:00

Garage sales, that is.

Going to them, and having them, because it's gotten a little embarrassing.

I got an e-mail from a friend in our old town about her annual garage sale. Her sale is always made up of nice, upper-end goodies and is worth going to - although I've always overbought at her sale only to realize she and I don't really have the same taste. Lovely though the items were/are, they really don't fit the vibe I'm going for.

You know, the vibe - that air of dilapidated(keyword) aristocracy(snort) on it's way to Bohemian (cluttered and chaotic) that justifies having stacks of unread books, moth-eaten textiles, and dust-encrusted collections of - well I don't know what it is, it's got so much dust on it - stuff. That's the vibe I've been going for, apparently, though I'm not sure I meant to.

Anyway - garage sale....

I am having one. A post-moving one. Tomorrow night in my driveway. Unbelievable.

NOTE: (I like Friday garage sales best - lots of folks get paid on Fridays, and it frees up the rest of the weekend to either spruce up the treasures I've bought or recover after selling the junk I got rid of).

Unbelievable, because you see I've tried to quit so many times. Each time I have a sale I vow it will be my last. I really don't want to be known as the garage sale child, or the jankity junk child, or the crazy new lady in the cute old house who is always having garage sales (.blogspot.com).

I am a big believer in the annual garage sale - I think most households could benefit from them. But this three times a year thing (and add to the questionable, potentially diagnosable behavior of moving of things only to turn around a sell them in the same week) has me a little concerned.
For my own well being.

So, what's your poison?

Garage sales, Target, fox-trot lessons?

What can't you let go of, that you might probably should?

the one where the hair on the back of my neck stands up....

2010-06-25T20:57:00.002-05:00

.....and I get goosebumps down my arms and my knees are weak.

And my throat closes a little and my eyes sting.

The raucous storms of the last weeks, in places that usually don't get the kind of weather they've had, have caused me to lose sleep. Not because they affect me directly - and c'mon, this is
Texas, where freak show weather is commonplace. It's easier to count places here that aren't tilled under by a twister some springs. But these places, not really, not so much - winter is their hardship, weather-wise, not spring.

My concern, my connection - it's because they've intersected with that feeling. You know, not dread exactly, or doom, but the voice that tells you to be on high alert.

The week my kiddos were vacationing with their grandparents at a water park, I had an irrepressible urge to lecture them - kids and grandparents - on the dangers of water and small children, and that while mine are strong swimmers, their enthusiasm still outweighs their ability and that extra precautions should be taken.

I almost didn't leave my boy.

I just had that feeling.

I dreamed that week that he was swimming in Arkansas and I couldn't find him.

The second day into the trip, my husbands Mom, my good friend, was swimming with my kids when my husbands Dad, my good friend, spotted a woman carrying a little boy out of the water, holding him and crying for help. My mother in law is a nurse and an experienced emergency responder, and worked on the little boy for nearly ten minutes.... until he CRIED AND TOOK A BREATH. He was level with water when she got to him, but he lived, she saved him.

I had the feeling about the wrong boy, but it all made perfect sense when I heard the story.

and as if that weren't enough to get me to church every Sunday....

I've just learned today that a woman I have admired since my childhood is gravely ill - as in metastasized melanoma that has reappeared as a golf ball sized brain tumor. It threatens to steal things she loves in this life - her ability to ride, and her ability to write.

I dreamed of her a few nights ago, about her riding her beautiful tall bay horse, who she lost in a tragic accident - that's how I know her, horse life - in what could only be described as a supernatural storm. Out of place, out of context...say like a storm the just totally wigged out Bridgeport, CT.

I'm with you Bridgeport, I'm wigged out, too!

I did not go on a short trip today, canceled before I read the news of my acquaintance. I had a feeling I should not go. Apprehension and an overwhelming fatigue made me hesitate though I really need to take care of some business. I got the sense there was business at home that was more important.

So, what gives?

Peri-menopause? (sorry guys)

A brain tumor of my own?

The Holy Spirit?

Do you ever wonder why you get the messages you get, and how you might sort them out?

Hello? Anybody?

I have that feeling I'm not alone.

One day at a time, Sweet Gina.

2010-06-16T12:57:00.007-05:00

One of my favorite blogworld people is cute pink Gina, over at the Shabby Chic Cottage.

I have a question: should I stop calling her "cute pink Gina" because her world while lovely doesn't seem to be as pink as it was when I first met her?

Gina, do you have an opinion on how you might like to be called?

Well, she'll always be cute and pink to me.

Anyway Gina is sponsoring a Ten Days of Torture challenge that serves as a tool by which to pierce the veil of procrastination. That some of us have.

It's really a neat thing she calls Ten Tasks in Ten Days Challenge, inviting us to join in and encourage one another to be all we can be, for at least ten days in a row. Love it.

I think last year when this came up I was preparing to move. As I am this year. So that's the heading my projects are under, MOVING. Dull, dull, tear inducingly tedious, and dull. But you should stop reading my self-indulgent whine fest and check out the chic-ness of the other folks who will be offering examples of fun projects they're completing over the next couple of weeks.

Hey, better yet - show off yer own, if you got'em.

OK

2010-06-14T00:10:00.005-05:00

Okay. I'm a wimp. I picked the bigger house with the central air. Well actually, my husband picked it, because he knows I'm a wimp. And because he likes central air and me.

(Ask me if I give one lollipop about the central heat....because I'll say no, no I do not. Because it's south Texas. Way south. I do not consider turning on the heater unless the inside temperature dips into the fifties, and I happen to have a newborn in the house, or company. Everyone else can wear a sweater. Except you - you of course I would turn on the heat for - all the way up to 68 F, even, I love you so. )

Okay. I'm a L to the forehead loser. I can't figure out how to get the photos of fabulous close to the ocean cottage into the picture editor so's I can show you and solicit free advice, because the physician can seem to heal everyone's design wounds but her own. It's good though...keep tuning in.

Okay. I'm a covetous ball of hypocritical greed. I got the Restoration Hardware catalog in the mail this weekend and after vowing to purchase nothing commercially made as a sort of quiet support of artisanal product and slow design, I ordered a chair with my 10% off coupon. And I'm going to IKEA on Tuesday to make sure I keep those Chinese prisoners in business. She writes, as she buys coffee roasted in her own downtown and beer brewed right up the street from where she lives ... at the Costco's.

Okay. I'm not the parent I hope to some day become. I dropped the writhing mass off at Camp Grandparents today and while I cried as I kissed them goodbye and missed them as I pulled out of the driveway, I am so glad no one is going to wake me up tonight to ask me what happened to their ice cream from two weeks ago, I am, now, tearing up with joy. And planning to stay up late(er).

Okay. Tomorrow, Lard willing and the sky don't fall, I'm going to be a packing dynamo.

Pray for me, okay?

How not to move.

2010-06-02T15:05:00.006-05:00

Do not attempt to have your children help you pack. View this as your opportunity to divest your household of it's vast assortment of broken Breyer horses and Playmobil pirates. This is best done without witnesses.

Don't move things you don't like. It's not going to have a place in your new place any more than it does in your current place. Bless* someone else with it.

*I always love how home ec gurus use this word, as if giving your ugly plastic placemats to your unsuspecting sister-in-law is really a blessing...bwahahahaha....

Don't buy 4 or 12 gallons of mismixed paint just before your husband comes back from a trip and leave them where he can see them and has the opportunity to ask "why in the !@#$% are we buying that just so we can move it?". I'm just sayin'.

Don't go to Costco and spend $50 or $200 just before your husband comes back from a trip and leave the stuff where he can see it and has the opportunity to ask "why in the !@#$%$ are we buying that just so we can move it?". I'm just sayin'.

Do not plan your move to a vacation destination over the Fourth of July holiday weekend, unless you have superhuman strength and can carry your china cabinet yourself.

Do not tell your dog you are moving, unless you want her to come down with a cold and an ear hematoma and need a trip to the vet, but you only have one car and your husband has it out of town, because you did not want to move two cars so you sold yours prematurely.

Do not count on fellow bloggers to help you choose your house. They can't decide either.

Do not count on fellow bloggers to reliably choose the appropriate cocktail to medicate your stressed nerves during your move.

Do count on fellow bloggers to post disturbing pictures of unnatural (?) acts that distract you from what you're supposed to be doing.

but most importantly....

Do count on fellow bloggers to help you keep your perspective, your religion, and your sense of humor, if not your sanity.

Amens.

Less than.

2010-05-24T21:45:00.002-05:00

I can't get all worked up right now - even though I'm worked up inside, I can't stop what I need to do right at this very blip on the time/space continuum to work up a rant about something that bugs me.

A lot, this thing bugs me.

So, I'll ask a question - well, some questions - instead.

What if the collective they - illegal immigrants, I mean, or undocumented workers or how about people who happen to be from Mexico, and other places, but mostly Mexico, who happen to be here now, with or without appropriate documentation - what if they don't want to do the jobs Americans don't want to do?

Why do we insist that these folks - people, remember? - should be our new serf class? Have we become so selfish in our relative wealth (and their own government in it's relative corruption) that we encourage others to risk their lives for the pleasure of scrubbing our toilets. Really?

Isn't that what teenagers are for?

Oh, what?

Why are their bodies all we need? Are their hearts and intellect less than my own, or my children's?

This - this bugs me.

I don't like what I think I see - that use only for bodies. That's all kinds of ugly, and why I'm suspicious of those who claim to fight for immigrant "rights". It smells funny - like dry rot, painted over.

Going to bed now.

I can't get worked up right now.

But tomorrow - tomorrow is another day.

Peace out, amigos.

Use It Up, effort one.

2010-05-23T00:38:00.002-05:00

WARNING:

THE POST YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ

IS WRITTEN BY

SOMEONE WHO IS NOT

MUCH OF A HOUSEKEEPER.

YOU GET

*EXACTLY*

WHAT YOU PAY FOR

THIS ADVICE

AMEN

I am something of a towel freak.

(hi, lovely Pottery Barn towels, I miss you)

I lurve big fluffy stacks of them, just like at hotels I can't afford and finer department stores.

And Costco.

I really would like to crawl into one of those giant shipping boxes of towels, you know how at the Den of Evil and Overspending they just cut off part of it and stick on a palette and there you go?

That's how many towels I want.

White. White and white.

The End.

Not really.

As it turns out, I have: four very faded taupe-ish towels that our girls use, two cute stripedy towels our boy uses, and two once-very-nice-but-now-not-so-nice-white(ish) formerly fluffy towels my husband and I use.

Here's the thing-y: they dry bodies.

Perfectly well.

There are not so many that they overwhelm with more laundry, we can tell which go to which bathroom and who left theirs on the floor. The kids routinely abuse them by wiping their cupcake icing faces on them (why?) so anything nicer, much less white, would just be frustrating and higher maintenance. We have plenty of towels, none are offensive, none are noticably stained or torn, and they're fine. I am determined to use them up. I have made peace with my current towel collection. I have new white towels for me and husband on a wishlist, but they're not right at the top.

"Is she really going to write an entire post about towels?" you ask...

...well, kind of...

It's about trying to separate my satisfaction from the ultimately meaningless. I don't for one minute believe that pursuing beautiful surroundings is sinful or somehow wasteful. An orderly, pleasant (dare I utter the word "spare"?) home leaves more room for the things that are spiritually important. I have to tell you all this because I'm not there yet. I place too much value on the not so important things. Using it up is new around here.

All this to say, I have some face rags and hand towels that are far past their prime and I'm determined to use those up, too.

I haaaaaaaaaaate sponges. They gross me out a little, they're like germ pods, so this ends up being a win/win for me.

Enter our towel retirement system, known as the rag bag and/or dog towel land. T shirts participate occasionally as well.

Play like you don't already do this, okay?

I can be a little slow on the uptake, and remember I said I was challenging myself, not the collective you, so bear with me and try not to laugh.

Preeshate 'cha.

It's simple, like most good things, but one important detail in this process is to make sure you can distinguish between your household rags and your actual body towels. Especially if your significant other is nice enough to help with the laundry but cannot remember which are which.

In our house, for household rags, we cut them up into a variety of sizes for a varity of uses. Cutting them helps keep it straight. Larger bath towels that we use for wiping large spills and drying off the dog after a bath, at this juncture, are all colors other than we those we use on our bodies.

(It's okay, fuzzball, you're not getting a bath today - you can go back to sleep now)

I do a once every 10 days or so load of household rags that also includes our bathmats, with hot water and bleach. Other than the expense of the occasional load of laundry, this is a cost-neutral /use it up practice. I love it. Baby steps, yes?

What's your favorite use it up method lately? Share, it's free!

Love,

your friend,

Peace out.

2010-05-09T18:27:00.003-05:00

It's not because it's Sandra Bullock and she's a mom to her step (I hate that qualification - c'mon, you're in or you're out) children even before she adopted that sweet baby boy Louis...

Rather, it's because a movie was made about being nice. Kind, actually. Reaching beyond self and into the unknown quantities of the universe that make up Holiness....

My favorite Mother's Day movie is The Blind Side.

I wish for every person who has turned and taken the hand of a person who needed reassurance - in a position of agreement or not - isn't that what being a parent is? - to know good things today.

To know they're good, all days.

Happy Mother's Day, to all who are Moms, technically and otherwise.

Amen.

2010-05-07T14:00:00.002-05:00

Let's see....

because I have a headful of shoulder length hair

that was formerly wavy

that is now fuzzy

(thanks hard water)

with no manageable style other than a ponytail

in anything above 40% humidity

AND because

I use self tanner

because I'm pasty white

and glow in the dark

and am deathly (and I mean deathly)

afraid of contracting skin cancer

after being a sun worshipper

throughout my teens and twenties

AND because

I could stand to lose ten or forty pounds

as it would seem

I am beginning to resemble

a chimichanga

and I prefer to remain covered

(in a bathrobe, not necessarily a pinoir as pictured above)

AND because

I had almost talked myself

into not

-or out of-

depending on the day's particular grammar crisis

continuing my bikini wax regimen

AND because

there's an oil slick in the Gulf

and I guess I need to see it

first hand

and get tar on my shoes...

WE'RE MOVING TO THE BEACH!

YAY!

YAY?

to be continued....

VIRTUAL GARAGE SALE

2010-05-04T10:29:00.011-05:00

As we are all tired of hearing, the Cottage along with it's Children is moving - sooner, rather than later, somewhere in the US of A, is all the information I have at the moment. But still. We are moving.

I live in a townhome and we aren't really allowed to have garage sales. Too bad.

So I'm having one here.

It's not a big deal - a few things at a time, all payable by pay-pal, combined shipping, etc, etc.
($10 shipping first item, $5 ea add'l item, max $20)

Crystal Hurricane, set of 2

10" h x 5.75" d

$20/pr

Set of 4 (plus one)

Fifth Avenue Crystal Portico Iced Tea 16 oz

never used

$10/set
(still have stickers, priced $6.95 ea)

Elegant Crystal Bowl

Large, very heavy

10.5" h x 10" d

foot is 5" x 5"

$20

63 pieces of Christmas Table Linens
$20

Group includes 8-8" dessert plates
Block "Father Christmas"
never used

14 padded vinyl placemats, 8 velvet placemats, 6 woven cotton placemats

5 table runners

72" x 54" table cloth

etched metal tray

21 napkins

- if by chance you're interested in the whole group, crystal, linens, and all, the total would be $50 + $10 shipping. Email me with any questions, baby. Thanks.

City Wide Garage Sale.

2010-04-26T06:47:00.018-05:00

If you live in an area that holds what's known as a City Wide Garage Sale and you haven't been, you should plan to experience that experience at your earliest convenience. It is indoors, at least as far as I know, best described as a little nicer, usually, than a flea market, but not as toney as an antiques sale, if that makes sense.

I did not take pictures of some of the bargains I passed up, but I should have, to share with you - except that looking at them would have had me calling up the show organizer and demanding the names, addresses, phone numbers and email contact information for every vendor/dealer/participant in the place until I tracked down the items I am sure I needed/wanted/coveted. And that in general is not the impression I like to leave people with. It's a little frightening for them, at first, and then they realize they gotcha right where they wantcha and up go the prices.

Not that it's ever happened to me before. I've just heard rumors.

I am sharing photos of what I did buy... my husband was shopping with me and while that usually makes me nervous and I spend a lot of time trying to communicate with sellers in the sign language of the underground junk hoarder, he was in a shoppy mood on Saturday as we're both looking forward to Housedom here in the near future. And I'd fed him a chicken fried steak from Threadgill's as a primer so he was in some sort of gravy induced nirvana, which was also extremely helpful.

So, because it's Monday, and I went shopping, and Today's Thrifty Treasures at the ever inspiring Southern Hospitality is such a fun way to begin the week...here we go:

**great big "U"...I collect them for my son's room in all colors and sizes, but this is mine all mine. It's black, metal, beat up, a pretty shape, generous size (about 30") and back lit...love it. It's going either in our entry way, with a bench or something, or maybe the family room. It depends on the house, I suppose, and my arbitrary whim....I'll likely not try to negotiate the original wiring, and replace it with LED. This was more of a Saturday splurge than a Thrifty Treasure, but since it was exactly the right thing, and I likely could not have found a piece of framed art in a similar size that I liked as well or was as interesting for even twice what I paid, I just got it. And I'm glad I did.

(haunted house editing provided to enhance the haunted house ambience of my very scary garage)

**paddles (PADDLES, not oars, sailor) for the boys room. I have a little concern - his room is getting more than it's fair share of goodies, it would seem to me. And you can tell me what you think as this post continues to unfold....

**old sign - lettered in what surely is vinyl, posted on galvanized metal, framed in wood, black and deliciously chippy peely dirty white paint, I am in crazy love with the phone number at the bottom (I'm going to start writing my phone number like that - I wonder if anyone will call me?)....purchased for the boys bathroom, but now I'm thinking it might go in the laundry/utility room.

**Old harvest coral. I wish now I'd bought all the dealer had......maybe next time. It's interesting to me that shells, which seem somehow ageless, do in fact age, and get prettier over time.

**Spool of candle wick, for tag-ties and packages...

**and again, for the boy.......decoy marker....applications for bills are being accepted through Wednesday.....

and again, for the boy.....

**detail of a Pottery Barn rug with about six months use, 9x12

Now this, this was not at CWGS, this was a Craig'slist find. Another splurge, but it's the only rug I'll ever buy him, and I wanted a good one with style and coloration that would accomodate all interests from dragons to pirates to sports to semiconductor. His first comment, of course, was "that's not red, it's pink". No, it's red. Don't argue with Mommy.

I reserve the right to put it in the TV room. When I have a TV room.

Happy Treasure Hunting!

Amen.

feels like Friday...a (non)Flybaby confessional

2010-04-16T08:03:00.012-05:00

It's been a weird ass week, people....sorry for the swear word, but I am at a creative loss as to how else I might describe it.

We're planning a move, although two weeks after the point at which my hair began falling out from the stress of not knowing exactly where we might be moving (this is starting to sound like a broken record - I think this is precisely what I was doing this time last year) we are still uncertain. So, readah dahrling, I'm putting on my cape/skirt, and sweater head dress, securing it with my best diamond brooch, and moving on. I've got rose-colored glasses to get on, I can't be fooling with all this reality.

Still here? ....thank goodness, what a relief....

So, I have a confession - I think the Flylady is very sweet and well intentioned, but entirely impractical.

There, I said it. I hope I won't get kicked out of church. Or disowned by my Mother-in-law, who I think might secretly be the Flylady.

I'm submitting to you that this little system, submitted to me by a very forward thinking duo of elementary aged home schooled children, works just as well, and gets right to the point (you won't even need a binder).

ahem, here goes:

IF YOU GET IT OUT, PUT IT BACK - NOW. IF IT'S DIRTY, WASH IT - NOW. IF IT'S NOT WHERE IT BELONGS, PUT IT THERE - NOW. Amen.

Add a dose of the inimitable Elisabeth Elliot and do the next thing and you've got a home worthy of a visit from a movie star. Or your Mother-in-law, even if she is a homemaking maven with a cult-like following.

Actually, my daughters (the aforementioned geniuses) wrote this little synopsis based on Fly's basic concept, but it's much more forgiving. And it beats the daylights out of our default system of ignore it until it's a giant wreck and throw a series of fits and then still have to clean it up except you've wasted half your energy on the fits. And missed a movie. And then you're stuck watching slightly disconcerting documentaries on Netflix and wondering if perhaps you aren't seeing a glimpse into your own future.

Here's our week at a glance, heavily laden with prayer and interspersed with cookie dough:

DAILY UPKEEP - kp, one or two loads of laundry, beds made, pet care, bathroom check and touch up, water plants, take out trash, exercise. We don't go to bed with dishes in the sink or clean laundry unfolded, our only hard and fast rules (the kids are each in charge of at least one of these things each day - if only I could train them to exercise for me)

SUNDAY - Sanctuary (this is the goal, the mission - begin with the end in mind, as it were - except for a preparing a special meal, we don't go beyond kp and feeding the dog on Sundays)

MONDAY - menus and marketing (we outline our menus for the week, grocery shop, and do most of our prep work)

TUESDAY - transportation and turf (gas up, wash the car, clean out trash - except for the duck food - have the tires checked, etc. - lawn care - doing or scheduling someone else to, planting, flower beds etc, in the yard.

WEDNESDAY - walls and windows - pretty much like it sounds - we count mirrors in this group - lots of Mrs. Meyers and paper towels go into this effort. I didn't hang any fabric treatments in this house, but I would shake them out, and twice a year put them in the dryer w/a damp towel to remove dust and fluff up the fibers (are you laughing as hard as I am right now?) It's also the day we do any touch up paint.

THURSDAY - threads, treads, and dreds - this is ironing, mending, shoe polishing or repair, clothes shopping, dry cleaning - anything related to clothes and shoes, personal care day - haircuts, dentist visits, pedicures - and if you're feeling sassy, or just hairy, a bikini wax

FRIDAY - floors and chores - the only really heavy duty housecleaning day - mop, vacuum, shake out rugs, spot clean carpets, bathe the dog (or take her to the groomer depending on the weather), dust (don't forget light fixtures and blinds) wipe down counters, clean showers and tubs.

SATURDAY - special projects - if you've got a room or four to paint, or a floor to lay, or an important improvement to make, like replacing some plywood with an actual window, Saturday's yer dhey. or do nothing at all...just hang. The ideal for us is that 3 out of 4 Saturdays are family fun days.

I'll let you in on a little secret - unless exactly the same people live in your house as mine, and you home school, and your spouse has a relatively high threshhold for your hoarding of jankity furniture and endless closets-full of dusty moth-eaten European textiles, this system will likely not work for you.

And that's the point (did you know there was going to be one?). Customization is a necessary luxury when it comes to determining your style of upkeep. Because really - you have to think these things up.

Aaay - mmmeeeeeee, whatchoo wanna do-o.....

2010-04-10T11:32:00.010-05:00

I love that song. But that's not why I called.

I'm TOTALLY captivated by these folks. They have no idea who I am. Unlike many of the writers/do-ers/generally fabulous people I admire on my little field trip list, I rarely comment on their posts because frankly, I feel inferior. They're just so - so - so productive. So I stalk them silently, hoping they'll not ask me to take my leave because my obsession frightens them, thank you very little. (Cotton, you hush now).

This week, there's a little duck drama going on at the Little Homestead in the City....a way while back, their sweet and cute duck pet Amy (can you imagine a better name for her?) was mysteriously injured and her future was uncertain. Apparently nursing a duck back to health following a neck injury is a precarious undertaking (and no one does it, much - it's not high on the veterinary care list - injured ducks are generally put on the "what's for dinner?" list.). Their wittew necks must be sound in order for them to function much at all it would seem. Anyway, sweet Amy seemed to be adapting to her altered state, if not recovering from it, until...until...until...she began to lay. Eggs, that is. Bless her heart.

I cannot imagine (well, I can, but I've spent years blocking it out) not being able to complete such an essential process.

To be so - stuck - as it were.

Poor sweet Amy. We're pulling (pushing?) for you....

Is this better than a bikini wax post?

No, not really?

Happy Saturday!

(Come back and tell me how stuck in your head this song is....at least it's a good one!)

Because she so loved the world...

2010-04-09T06:38:00.003-05:00

She got a pedicure.

I did it for you, for the team, for the benefit of humanity.

That's how summer goes for me. First things first, kill some plants, then address the Barney Rubbles (or Petunia Pigs as my Granny called them, or elf feet, as my brother calls them). A little Banana Boat layered with some L'oreal self tanner (the combination is key) will come next. For now, I seem to be glowing in the dark (picture currently unavailable by order of the FAA, NASA, and Area 51) - Cotton, let's see if that get's 'em to visit!

Next week: Bikini wax. Wanna see pictures? No?

here's you: I thought she was going to design/decorate/cook something for us to look at, is she really talking about her personal hygeine?

here's me: The only time I ever leave the house on a non-domestic errand is for personal hygeine - getting spiffed up sounds so much more appealing, let's go with that. So, because I never leave house on non-domestic related excursions, except to get spiffed up (in fragmented stages, no less - hair cut is coming - that's a whole other post) it's big news and I really need to share. Amen.

It was nice knowing you! Happy Weekend!

Good enough to eat.

2010-04-06T08:16:00.005-05:00

We're a home schooling family, so public school lunch doesn't factor into our everyday lives.

(wait for it...wait for it....disjointed, unrelated comment NOW)

I have a huge crush on Jamie Oliver, aka the Naked Chef. I ponder how his wife might feel about that....oh, what?

I am pleased to announce that Jamie and school lunch are relevant to my little life by way of his new TV show, Food Revolution.

Our kids eat well. Exceptionally well by most standards. We could have a little more fish, a few more vegetables, less gluten, avoid the drive thru all together. But all in all, we spend money on quality ingredients, and prepare healthy meals.....again, wait for it...

....so that we won't find ourselves spending as much on Dr's visits and health care. Our family is haunted by obesity, heart disease, and allergies of all kinds. We were both fed poorly as children, and suffered for it, and decided we would not pass that hazard along by means we could control.

Watching Food Revolution startled me. Not that kids will choose pizza over chicken and salad every.damn.time (I mean really - who lets their kids pick like that expecting a different outcome? - don't get me started on the you'll-eat-what-I-cook-and-say-thank-you disciplinary gap - just don't - Good Lard above, people). It was the education gap - that there are children who in first grade cannot identify fruits and vegetables that mine had been eating since they could chew them. It made me hurt. It made me cry. Those little brains and bodies will never be all they're meant to be if they aren't fed properly. The soul needs good, wholesome food, too, to know one of the great gifts and pleasures of life. Good food is good for the whole of us, in and of and for the Creation.

I also have a little conspiracy theory playing out in my head - although it's probably just the usual bumbling our gub'ment seems to wear like a snuggie in August (does that even make sense?)- that lack of sensible interface - my beautiful mind sees a system involving Monsanto and commercial agribidness in general, commodity and government excess "food" products (corn, cheese, corn corn corn), "free" public school lunch programs, the spectacular evolution of ADD and her cousins, the antiquated and mostly upside down food pyramid, the epidemic of obesity....and suddenly we arrive at a government regulated health care system. I'm not going to argue the ins and outs of this new law...today. But I'll tell you I find the irony glaring. I'll say no more. Today.

But reeeeaaally - my point is that, well, I don't know what the perfect delivery system is, but long before dealing with the consequences and repercussions of illness by way of health care, I see good food as being a much more effective and fundamental and enjoyable means of preventative care.

Round about...this Monday (uh, Tuesday) means:

45) good things to eat

46) a good education

47) the ability to discern, if not always the discipline to choose wisely

48) a passion for cooking, it's own education

49) learning together

50) loving parents and the children who inspire them

51) Jamie Oliver (duh!)

52) service-driven activism

53) every food, like every child, is someone's favorite, and has redeeming qualities

54) the satisfaction and privilege of abundance - food and otherwise - and the heart to share them

Bon appetit! Amen.

(oooh, if you haven't seen it, watch Food, Inc. ....but don't hate me, it's kinda gross. I'm sure you have seen it, because you go out into the world and interact and keep up - but some of us are slow and reclusive and are too lazy to wash our hair, so play along, k?)

Peace of the Lord be always with you. And also with me. Amen. Again.